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Women are like hand grenades

If you take off the ring you lose your house and half your belongings

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Hand Grenade Sale

One day a man was walking down the street with his wife, and his wifeā€™s boyfriend.

As they were walking they happened upon a flea market, with tons of booths setup selling all kinds of goods. Each booth had a sign above with the items they were selling.

Hand made blankets 2 for 10$...

The soldier.

Little Johnny became a soldier. He got a big knife, an AR 15 and a few hand grenades. He felt pretty good as he had also gotten pretty strong so he decided to go show off to his grandpa.

He gets there and sees his grandpa so he goes:

-Hi grandpa. Look at me, I became a soldier!
...

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Back in the day, Chicago was run by the Irish mob

Now, before the Italian mob took over- I'm sure you all know Al Capone, Frank Nitti, Lucky Luciano, and the like- Prohibition era Chicago was run by the Irish mob.

The Irish gangs owned Chicago outright for a solid 18 months after Prohibition went into effect, before police raids, pressure fr...

Did you hear about the war between the blondes and the brunettes?

The blondes were throwing hand grenades, and the brunettes were pulling the pins and throwing them back.

The General's Report

An Army general was in Washington for a meeting and decided to call his base for a report. A young private answered the phone.

"I'd like an inventory report of the base please," stated the general.

The private had not dealt with such a request before and thought it was a fellow private...

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Johnny learns a moral

The teacher tells the students to go home and learn a moral for homework. The next day the teacher started with Sarah asking her what moral she learned.
"I was helping my momma bring in the groceries and the bag ripped and I dropped the milk and started to cry and my momma said "don't cry ove...

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A teenager was standing in front of a recruiter, about to sign his life away to the Marines.

The recruiter promised him adventure and action, and the teenager was buying it all up. He finished his training (Semper Fi!) and was immediately given his first posting: he was going to Afghanistan. Being an FNG, the Devil Dog worked long and worked hard, but by the end of his tour, he felt he had ...

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