UPJOKE
tellurianearthmanearthlandadventuressworldlingearthwardearthlyterranearthyearthenterrestrialsublunaryterrenegaea

Earthlings Jokes

Alien1: So how did the earthlings die?

Alien2: They had so much toilet paper they wiped themselves out!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People from earth are called Earthlings.

People from Mars are called Martians.

People from Uranus are called Assholes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Martians and the Earthlings

A Martian couple and an Earthling couple have met for the first time and are talking about
all sorts of things. Finally, the subject of sex comes up.

"Just how do you guys do it?", asked one of the Earthlings.

"Pretty much the way you do", responded one of the Martians.

D...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Aliens invade earth

A flying saucer comes down one day. A group of heavily armed, green-skinned extraterrestrials disembark carrying enormous weapons.

One opens his mouth and announces "Greetings Earthlings! You have 72 hours to bring us your world leader! If he finds favor in our eyes, you will be spared. If ...

Not mine. Feel free to remove if it's a repost.

Year 2030.
Aliens invade the Earth.
\- Take a look! It seems that all earthlings died from some kind of virus?
\- Yes, that's true, but look how clean their asses are!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Martian Babies

A Martian couple and an Earthling couple have met and are talking about all sorts of things.

Finally, they get around to the subject of where babies come from.
"Just how do you guys do it?" ask the Earthlings.

“We’ll show you”, the Martians say.

Each Martian holds out two fin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl with a nasal voice walks into a speech therapist's office to get herself "cured."

After going through the therapy, she starts getting hit on by guys who earlier bullied her. She starts having positive thoughts and dreams again. One day she dreams of having sex with her hot Biology teacher. The next day she stays in for office hours and ends up fucking him.

She starts getti...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The day I met ET. I was minding my own business waiting for the bus when this weirdo sits next to me and pokes me on the shoulder.

"Stop it, will you!" I said. He does it again and I was about to slap the silly grin of his face, but he raised his hand and said there was no need for violence, he was a stranger from a different planet and came to study earthlings.

"Prove it" I said, and he opens his jacket and there are gi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One night, the stars had rearranged in the sky

to say "Hello!" The people of Earth were in awe and could not believe their eyes. They all collaborated by turning some lights off and keeping some on. When arranged it said "Welcome. We come in peace" The next night the stars began rearranging again. When finished, they read "Go fuck yourselves ear...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A married couple was walking down the street..

A married couple was walking down the street when an alien spacecraft landed in front of them.

A married alien couple walked out and said, "Hello, earthlings, we come in peace. We are scientists from the planet GRUDO-X and we want you to tell us all about your planet."

So they talked f...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.