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A flat earther dies and goes to heaven.

At the gates of heaven, St. Peter says to them, "Before you enter the gates of heaven, you may ask god one question."

The flat earther asks, "God, is the earth flat?"

God responds, "The earth is 100% a globe."

The flat earther exclaims, "Holy crap! This conspiracy runs deeper th...

How do you get a flat-Earther to shut up?

Just push ‘em off the edge.

I agree with Flat Earthers on every thing except

that the Earth is Flat

Guys, I'm not saying that Flat Earthers, Anti-Vaxxers, and Creationists are unintelligent people but...

there is a reason why shoes with Velcro straps come in adult size.

A flat-earther dies and goes to heaven.

He arrives in heaven and is met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
“You’ve lived your life free from sin and because of this, we welcome you into heaven my child.” Says Saint Peter.

The flat-Earther breathes a sigh of relief and starts to make his way through the gates of heaven. Before h...

Flat earthers are very worried about the pandemic.

They are afraid that social distancing measures may push people over the edge.

Flat Earther goes to Heaven

A life long Flat Earther named Greg dies and goes to Heaven.

Upon arrival at the Pearly Gates he meets St Peter who says "Welcome to Heaven Greg, today is your lucky day you're one of hundred people who can ask a question to God

Greg: Can I ask him anything?

St Peter: Anything ...

A round earth fact to a flat-earther is…

…like what thanksgiving is to a turkey

A flat Earther goes to heaven.

A flat Earther dies while trying to fly in a homemade rocket and goes to heaven. There he meets up with God and says, "Oh Supreme Lord!! Tell me with utmost honesty. Is Earth round or flat ? "

God replies, "It is round, my dear child."

The flat earther thinks, " Wow ! This whole thing ...

Why are there no highly credited esteemed flat-earthers?

Because flattery will get you nowhere.

My flat-earther mate...

...decided to prove his point by walking to the end of the world.
In the end, he came around.

My friend was an ex 'flat-earther'

He finally came around

The only thing Flat-Earthers fear

is sphere itself.

Those damned Flat Earthers…

When will they finally realize that FLATTERY will get them nowhere?

A vegan, an anti-vaxxer, and a flat earther walk into a bar

I know because they told everyone in 5 minutes.

My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther

He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.

A flat-Earther died, and to his surprise found himself standing on a cloud in front of the gates of heaven

A flat-Earther died, and to his surprise found himself standing on a cloud in front of the gates of heaven. God himself was there and told him he would be happy to answer any questions the man might have - about anything across the entirety of Space and Time.
So of course the man said - "Was I ...

Whats the differerence between a flat earther and a knife?

A knife has a point

What’s another name for a flat-earther?

A Globe-a-phobe.

My flat-Earther friend said he would walk to the end of the Earth to prove his point. -

Eventually, he came around.

I was a flat earther for 3 years

Then I turned 4

How does a flat-earther travel the world?

On a plane.

What do flat-earthers call global warming?

Toast

I once debated with a flat earther, he got so mad he vowed to walk to the edge of the to prove it.

He'll come round eventually.

A flat-earther's greatest fear is...

Sphere itself.

What is the difference between Q followers and flat earthers?

At least the earth exists!

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A flat earther as your Secret Santa

A bunch of employees participate in the annual Secret Santa exchange. They all draw a name from the hat. They all say what they want as presents.

A woman stands up and jokingly says “I want a bra for my big globes.”

A man in a serious manner replies “I’ll get you a boob job instead.”

Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat.

It's a Thor subject for them.

The real reason for the missing of many flat-earthers in recent weeks as suggested by their friends of similar thought

The Flat Earth Society has reported that the 6 foot social distancing measures have led to the pushing of some of their members over the edge.

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Why are the flat earthers always at the butt end of a joke?

Cos all their arguments fall flat.

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Today a flat earther friend of mine told me the earth was as as flat as my sense of humor.

I told him his girlfriends ass would've been a better comparison.

How many flat-earthers does it take to draw an arrow?

None. They can't make a point.

An anti masker, An anti vaccer, A flat earther....

An anti masker, An anti vaccer, A flat earther all went to the bar...
..
..
..
Now that's can't be coincidence

I am a flat-earther

In fact I have many flat earther friends...’round the world

What do a kinky lawyer and a flat earther have in common?

Pulling evidence out if their ass

I like flat earthers

They make me feel more intelligent

A flat earther snuck into a physics seminar

While the speaker was giving speech on recent development about gravity, flat earther shouted


" Why do you even think that gravity is real? "



Speaker dropped the mic.

Why did the flat-earther couple break up?

They drove each other to the edge.

It’s surprising flat earthers are still using money.

You’d think they’d have concern over it making the world go round.

A particularly open-minded flat-earther started out on a journey, and decided he wouldn't stop traveling until he found evidence to convince him to change his worldview.

And eventually he came around.

What do you say when you meet a flat-earther?

You're not from round here are ya?

The Only Thing Flat-Earthers Fear

Is Sphere Itself.

my only joke i've ever came up with and it flat-out sucks.

no way around it.

Why do flat earthers enjoy talking to flight instructors?

they tell them 5G might make them sick.

Why do Flat-Earthers enjoy the quarantine?

They finally get to flatten the curve.

Two flat earthers die and go to heaven. At the pearly gates they have the chance to ask god any questions they want and get truthful answers, so one flat earther asks god "is the earth flat?" to which god answers "No."

The flat earther looks at the other and says "this goes higher than we thought".

Flat earthers are not very fond of the 2 metre distanceing

They claim its pushing some of their members over the edge.

I want to argue with flat earthers but...

I just feel like we're not on a level playing field

A buddy of mine is one of those “flat Earther’s.” He said he’s angry and going to the edge.

I have a feeling he’ll come around.

Why can’t flat earthers practice social distancing?

They would run out of room and fall off the edge.

Do you know how flat-earthers call 2020?

Panic! At The Disc

I wasn't always a Flat Earther. In fact, I used to believe the Earth was round...

...until your mom sat on it.

The only thing round earthers have to fear...

...is nuclear war. That’ll flatten things pretty quickly.

I like to debate flat earthers

I will go to no ends to shut them up

we shouldn't bully flat Earthers or anti Vaxxers

just because they have brain damage doesn't mean we get to make fun of them

I am also a proud antivaxx mother, flat earther, Trump enthusiast and know for a fact climate change isnt real.

There's no punchline, ive already told you the joke.

There is a new reality show where flat earthers try to travel to the edge of the world.

Unfortunately the finale is not a cliff hanger.

Tweet: "There are flat earthers all around the globe"

Posted by: Flat Earth Society.

Why don't Flat Earthers care if they're having a bad day?

They're always on top of the world

A flat earther was asked to describe fear...

They said there was nothing to fear but sphere itself.

What to do when a flat earther calls you dumb

Tell them ,"your iq must be the same as the curvature of the earth."

Flat Earthers say we’ve never truly seen real pictures of the earth

but I’ve never seen my dad and I know he’s real

Flat Earthers

It's funny making a flat earth beliver angry, but if you push them over the edge then you're only proving them right.

What if we tell the flat earthers that the answers they are looking for are in Area 51

Then that way we get to watch people storm Area 51 and no one dies that anyone cares about!

Flat earthers used to think that the earth was round

But since then they've really ironed out their theory

You have to give flat earthers credit...

They're just trying to level with everyone

What would be a terrifying game show for flat-earthers?

Sphere Factor

How many flat Earthers does it take to change a broken lightbulb?

All of them. But they will still fail to get the lights on and they'll just blame NASA for faking working lightbulbs.

An anti-vaxxer, a flat-earther and a holocaust denier walked into a bar

but got turned down by the bartender.

What’s the difference between a flat-earther and an anti-vaxxer?

Their google searches.

Honestly, I've never seen a flat earther. Maybe it's because they're two one dimensional.

Ba-dum-tisssh!

Flat-Earthers always change what they say about the Flat Earth for their convenience. Luckily there aren't any other groups that do that.

Thank God.

Imagin you are walking along the boardwalk in New Jersey when you see an anti-vaxxer and a flat-earther drowning in the ocean...

do you grab dinner before you go to the movies or see the movie first?

If there was a reality show about flat-earthers trying to find the edge of the world

The ending would be a cliffhanger.

Why couldn't the flat-Earther fit his luggage in his car?

No space.

What's a flat earther's solution to global warming?

Blow the C02 off the edge.

Just found out today my boyfriend is a flat Earther

No wonder he never comes around

What does a flat-earther do with a ball?

He plays Frisbee!

Flat-Earthers believe in karma, too. They be like ' What goes around....

comes across'.

Did you hear about the Flat Earther who went skydiving?

He landed on a plane.

I had an argument with a flat earther once, I'm thinking of getting in touch with him again

I'm looking forward to round 2

When a flat-earther finds conclusive evidence against their beliefs...

...it’s important for them to know that it’s not the end of the world.

What do you get when you combine a flat earther and their arrogance?

Flatulence.

Geocentrists and Flat-Earthers are so selfish.

They think the whole universe revolves around them.

This sub is overdoing it with the flat earther jokes...

... you're pushing them over the edge.

What do you call an MTG player who's also a flat-earther?

A planeswalker.

We staged an intervention with our flat-earther friend.

He said he felt cornered.

If a flat earther and antivax mom were both drowning...

what sandwich would you make?

An anti-vax mom and a flat-earther dad were having a friendly chat with their neighbor

The neighbor says, "Well I have to go but send my best wishes to the kids. Tell them I hope they can shoot for the moon."

The mom rather embarrassed says, "I'm sorry... In our family we don't allow shots at the moon."

How do you save a flat earther who's falling?

You don't because gravity doesn't exist.

What's a flat-earther's least favorite gun?

A revolver.

There must be flat-earthers at Microsoft.

Or why would one call a browser for the worldwide web Edge?

I asked a Flat Earther to tell me what the volume of the Earth was but he couldn't give me a good answer.

There was a significant rounding error.

Why does everyone try to discredit Flat Earthers?

It's like there's a global conspiracy.

A Flat-Earther is lost at sea when he sees a boat off in the distance

then it disappears.

How does a redditor get karma when they don't deserve it?

Piece of ca.....I'm just kidding they ask what's a flat earther's favorite Christmas decoration?

Their s'no globe.

A flat-earther walks into a bar.

A flat-earther walks into a bar and orders a drink.

The bartender say "Sorry we can't serve you alcohol. You can't afford to lose any more brain cells".

What is the real argument Flat Earthers are trying to use?

2D, or not 2D? That is the question.

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