UPJOKE
medicationcocainedisulfiramhabitcannabissubstance abusebenzodiazepinemalignancypcpvirologynosologypalliativepolychrestanalgesicantiprotozoal

Drug Abuse Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher teaches class on drug abuse

He walks into the classroom, draws a big circle and a small circle on the blackboard and asks: “What are these?”

As nobody answers, he says:” The big circle is your eye pupil, when you’re clean, and the small circle is your eye pupil, when you’re high! If the police see this, they put you in ...

Apple is making a new drug abuse detector

The ICUP.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jesus sits down one day and considers the high rate of drug abuse that will follow long after his time on earth.

He thinks it is a bit hypocritical of him to condemn them without first trying them himself, so he sends his apostles out to see what drugs they can find.

A couple of days later Jesus hears a knock at the door. “Who is it?”. “Paul.”Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring, Paul?”. “Hashish f...

Rio is full of liars, cheaters, thieves, and drug abusers.

And that's just the athletes.

A man is stopped by the police at midnight and asked where he's going.

“I'm on the way to listen to a lecture about the effects of alcohol and drug abuse on the human body."

The policeman asks, "Really? And who's going to be giving a lecture at this time of night?"

"My wife", was his reply.

A spill

While doing a lab experiment I was listening to music by a band who's bassist was a known drug abuser. During his solo, I slipped on some spilled vinegar & lost my grip on a beaker full of sodium hydroxide.
Looks like while he was tripping on acid dropping the bass, I was tripping on acid dro...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The bear on drugs

A bear walks into a bar, sits down, and has a drink. The woman next to him says "Why the fuck are you allowed in here? Bears aren't supposed to be in bars!" The bear ignores her.

A while later the woman gets up and says, "I'll ask you again, you piece of shit, who let you in here?" The bear ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.