UPJOKE
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A guy comes back home to his small town from overseas at the end of WWII. The town plans a big parade for him the next day. He remembers that the day before he shipped out three years earlier, he left a pair of dress shoes at the shoemaker's for repair.

He finds the receipt ticket and rushes to the shoemaker's to get them. The shoemaker examines the ticket and disappears into the back for a couple of minutes. When he returns he says, "They'll be ready Thursday."

You know what they say about men who wear dress shoes...

They have no soles.

A guy is moving out of New York City, and begins cleaning out his home desk...

A guy is moving out of New York City, and begins cleaning out his home desk. He's a bit of a packrat, and after thirty years, he's accumulated a lot of papers. As he's going through the papers, he notices an old, yellowed receipt.

"Lustowitz Shoe Repair" it says at the top. He dimly remembers...

A man comes into a bakery and asks the baker "Hey, I've come here a lot and really like your eclairs, what do you do that makes them so special?"

The baker tells him, and the man leaves, with a very confused look on his face.

The next day, his wife comes in to the bakery outraged, and starts shouting at the baker "Sir, what did you tell my husband about your eclairs that made him bake with his finest dress shoes on! He spilled the bat...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

James is suffering from severe headaches. [Long]

For as long as he can remember, he's had debilitating headaches that have hampered his life in every way. He finally seeks medical help. After some tests, the doctor returns:

"James, I don't know quite how to say this. It seems your testicles are pressing against the base of your spine, pi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] Tom was having increasingly bad headaches as he got older...

He was told by his doctor that he had an ailment that made his testicles press up against his spine, which caused him very painful headaches; more pain than he was able to endure. After many referrals, it was concluded that castration would be the only way to cure him. After his surgery, he was fr...

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