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Dante Jokes

What did Virgil say when Dante looked unwell?

Hey man, you look like you've been through hell

Do you think Dante meant for his work to be taken literally?

Or do you think he meant it as an Alighieri?

Mom, I'm dating a man.

\-Whom, sweetheart?

\-Dante the mailman.

\-Dante the mailman? But he could be your father!

\-But mom, age is just a number.

\-Sweetheart, I don't think you understood.

My friend Dante was a big PETA supporter, but suddenly started protesting against them.

Dante’s in fur now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A football team loses its star player Dante Dicks due to an injury...

The next day, the paper reads "Team will play without Dicks."

Outraged, the team manager demands that the newspaper change the title and resubmit their article.

The next day, the headline reads "Team to play with Dicks out."

How long do you cook your pasta in Hell?

Until it’s Al Dante!


I’m not proud of it. But I still like it.

Disney just announced plans for an animated adaptation of Dante's Inferno

They're calling it, "101 Damnations."

An athiest wakes up in hell.

He looks around confused at the bright shining sun and the best beach party he's ever seen.
People are singing and dancing, laughing and playing, splashing in the crystal water and drinking, just having the best time.

Shortly the devil walks up to him wearing shorts, hat, and raising a g...

Three brothers, named Dante, Buddy, and Tyler each decided to get their dad a special birthday present

Three brothers, named Dante, Buddy, and Tyler each decided to get their dad a special birthday present.

Dante bragged, "Since Dad likes to golf, I'm going to to get him a set of golf bags for the old man."

Buddy said, "You know how Dad loves to go bird hunting? I've decided to get him...

You know what place has great pasta?

Hell.

I hear everything is Al Dante

What is the most popular song in hell?

Burn baby burn, Dantes inferno!

German Heaven and Hell

During Dante's journey through Heaven, Beatrice leads him to a circle of Heaven and tells him: "This is German heaven. You can only enter if you are guided by a German. This is why Gutenberg will guide you there". Gutenberg shows Dante German heaven – a big factory, where good Germans work hard. "If...

Intellectual Jokes as in: Yo mama so wide she didn't fit through the Thermopylae Pass

or she so fat she didn't fit through the last circle in Dante's Inferno.

Let's get this thread ballin'.

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