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Cruise Control Jokes

Cruise Control

*Author's note: I just came up with this while working my tech-related job, and I'm posting from my phone. I apologize if the joke just isn't as funny as I think it is, or if there are any formatting mistakes.*

A cruise ship is swept up in a violent tropical storm, throwing it off-course. The...

A police officer pulls over a speeding car.

The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir." The driver replies, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting, the driver's wife says, "Now don't be silly, dear. You know that this car doesn't have cruise...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Husband goes to a police station, says ‘My wife is missing!’

Husband goes to a police station...
“My wife is missing! She went out yesterday and has not come home...”

Sergeant at Police Station:
“What is her height?”

Husband:
“Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall

Sergeant:
“Weight?”

Husband:
“Don't know. N...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy gets pulled over by a cop...

So a guy gets pulled over by a patrol car. The cop approaches the car and explains that he pulled the man over for speeding.

"That's impossible," says the man, "I was using my cruise control, and was going exactly the speed limit."

The man's wife says, "Oh that's not true, the cruise ...

Have you heard about the new Scientologist car?

It's got cruise control...

My girlfriend told me she wanted to try road head!

Of course I was down! So we went for a long drive, turned the cruise control on, and she got to work.

It was great.

I don't think I want to try it again though, it was pretty difficult steering from the passenger seat.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when everyone is behaving on a cruise ship?

Cruise control.

LOL fuck everyone hahahaha 666SATAN666

Why did Katie Holmes get rid of her fancy car?

She got tired of all that Cruise control.

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