... and saw a guy walking around with a big stick. So I asked: "Are you a pole vaulter?". He replied: "No I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?"
(stole this joke from Billy Connolly)
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Celtic vs. Rangers
(Celtic and Rangers are rival Scottish football teams, the fans are *not* fond of each other.)
At the Celtic vs. Rangers match, Jimmy, a Celtic fan accidentally ends up with the Rangers fans.
To his bad luck, he is spotted just as Celtic score. A huge, drunk and angry Scotsman walks...
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes.
After that, who cares? He's a mile away, and you've got his shoes.
\-- Billy Connolly
Blind guy walks into a supermarket...
Starts swinging his dog around his head.
Shop keeper says: "What're you doing?"
Blind guy says "just having a look around"
Credit: Billy Connolly
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
What have an Ostrich, a Pelican, and the tax man got in common?
They can all stick their bills up their arse.
(Credit: Billy Connolly)
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