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Choir Boy Jokes

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Masturbating

An 8-year-old choir boy catches the priest masturbating.

He said, "What are you doing father?"

"It's called masturbating," the priest replied. "You'll be doing this soon."

"Why father?" he asked.

"Because my wrist is killing me," the priest replied.

I don't like talking about my childhood as a church choir boy

it is a touchy subject

A choir boy goes to confession...

He says, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned."

The priest asks, "What is your sin, my child?"

"I've had carnal knowledge of a girl, Father."

"My son, it is good that you have confessed this to me but wasting your innocence on these base acts is a sin. In order to fully redeem ...

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as a choir boy.

What do you call it when a priest comes on to a choir boy?

Faptism

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The usual priest if off, so a stand in takes his spot

All is going well until a woman confesses to giving a man a blowjob. The priest doesn't know what to do so he nips out of the confessional booth to ask for help. He runs into a choir boy and asks him "what does the usual priest give for a blow job?"

The choir boy replies "normally a bag of sw...

Knock Knock:

Priest: Knock Knock

Choir Boy: Who's there?

Priest: Pedal

Choir Boy: Pedal who?

Priest: Pedal-file

Choir Boy: I don't get it?

Priest: You soon will

How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I said lightbulb, not choir boy!

How do you circumcise the Pope?

Kick the choir boys chin

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A plane was going down

You have the pope, a priest, the choir boys, and a narcissist, And only 1 parachute. The narcissist grabs the parachute and say's "I'm too important to die" The pope replies "But think about the children" The narcissist replies "Fuck the children!" The priest responds "Do you think we have time?" "E...

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A Catholic church is burning down

There is a group of choir boys and 2 priest

The priest ask the other priest if they had enough time to save the kids.

He turns around and says "nah fuck em"

The other priest replies " Its gonna be close, might have enough time for a few"

The Priest & The Frog...

"One fine sunny morning, the Irish priest took a walk in the local forest. He had been walking by the small stream when he noticed a sad, sad looking frog sitting on a toadstool."

"What's wrong with you?" said the irish priest."

"Well," said the frog, "the reason I am so sad on this fi...

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A priest and his lost cock

One day a priest went out to his farm to check his hens, but to his surprise there was no rooster! During mass he asked, “Has anyone seen a cock?”

All the women stood up

He then said, “I mean, has anyone got a cock?”

All the men stood up.

He said, “No, no, I mean has anyo...

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A priest owns poultry

A cock is missing.
He runs around looking for it and reaches the sunday mass, where he asks - anyone has a cock? All men say yes.
No, no he says, I mean has anyone seen a cock, rephrasing? All women say yes.
No no he says, now agitated, has anyone seen my cock! All the nuns raise t...

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New priest

There was a new priest that was going to take over for a retiring priest. As the old priest was showing the young priest around, they came up to the confessional booth. The young priest said:

"You know, I'm quite nervous about talking to people about their sins."

The old priest respon...

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A man goes up to heaven and is being shown around.

A man goes up to heaven and is being shown around. He is surprised to be living with his wife and an ex from college. An angel explains "In heaven, you spend your time with the people you had sex with the most times".

The man thinks this could cause trouble and asks if there is any way to app...

Why can't priests have children?

Because choir boys can't get pregnant, thank God.

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A newly anointed priest is given his first posting.

Father Ben a newly anointed priest is given his first posting of his career. He’s fairly young and very nervous, but seeing his distress, Father Todd the elderly priest he’s replacing was very thoughtful and had prepared some cheat sheets so everything would transition smoothly. Hidden behind the al...

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The priest lost his cockerel one day

At mass, he asks
"Does anyone have a cock?" to which all the men stand up.
"No, that's not what I mean! Has anyone seen a cock?" to which all the women stand up.
"No no no! Gosh, has anyone seen a cock that isn't theirs?" and half the women stand up.
"God dammit! Alright, has anyone see...

Priest is about to give confession...has to make an emergency trip to the bathroom...

He opens the back door and looks for anyone to help him as the line up is getting long. All he finds is the custodian.

He signals to him and asks to cover for him. The custodian says he has no idea what to do.

"That's easy. Just listen to the confession, look on the wall inside th...

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