Budgie smugglers and getting girls

So about 10 year s ago , I went to Benidorm with a friend and we we’re sitting on the beach and My friend wanted to know the best way for him to get attention from the girl s

I told him to go find a pebble and put it down his budgie smugglers and walk up and down the beach for a while
...

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My Cake Day penis joke:

A guy goes to the beach for vacation, and he really wanted to impress the ladies on the beach. He worked out a bunch, tanned in advance, and bought a tiny banana hammock bathing suit for himself.

Each day, he put on his tight budgie smuggler and began walking the beach, smiling at the bathin...

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A few months ago my budgie escaped from its cage and had sex with our dog.

Anyone want some puppies going cheap?

When my wife came home from work, I said, "Sit down, I've got some bad news. The cat's torn your budgie to pieces."

She replied with tears in her eyes, "We don't have a cat." I said, "I know, I had to borrow one."

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My husband and i were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and theatre.

Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a 'night light' and the answering machine, then put the cat in the backyard. When our cab arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat scooted between our legs inside, then ran up the stairs. Because our cat likes to chase our budgie we...

Why couldn't the little bird get into the birdhouse?

...the door wouldn't budgie!

For Sale - Dead Budgie

Not going cheep

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Two Irishmen on Connor's Pass...

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'


The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.


'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.


The owne...

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First I was shocked when my wife gave Birth to a black kid.

Then I thought that "Birth" was a silly name for a budgie anyway.

Have you heard about the broke ornithologist?

His budgie-ting skills were horrible!

A woman brings her budgie to the vet's.

It is lying very still and limp. "I'm afraid it's dead" says the vet, but the woman refuses to believe him. "Please", she says, "can't you examine it at least?" The vet goes to the door and whistles. In trots a black Labrador. The vet points to the budgie, and the dog goes over to the table, puts hi...

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[Long] The Life of Parmish [Part 1]

There were once two young brothers from India, Parmish and Dudah, who decided one day to travel the world. They went to London, France, China, Japan, and many other countries. They ate all the exotic food they came across and explored many different cultures and experiences.

At their last st...

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A man walks into a hardware store...

you know the type, the independent store that barely survives and sells EVERYTHING, but rarely has a customer, how they are still trading is a miracle. Anyway, the man approaches the counter and asks the shopkeeper "I need a budgie file".

"A budgie file?" The shopkeeper muses out-loud, "not h...

Two Irish guys walk into a pet shop

Seamus heads straight over to the back of the shop, knowing what he's looking for, and Finton follows shortly behind.

"Dats dem up der!" Says Seamus, pointing at high up bird cage. "Oi'll tek two a dem budgies up der," He says to the shopkeeper, "an wouldya put em in a pepper bag?"

So...

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I won my first cage fight earlier

That fucking budgie didn't know what hit him

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2 men and their thirst for extreme!

2 men are standing on the ledge of a cliff... One man has a Budgie on his shoulder and the other has a parrot on his shoulder and a gun attached to his hip.

The first man with the Budgie, jumps off the cliff and as he falls the Budgie immediately flies away. The man plunges to the ground, mir...

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A man looks over his fence...

and sees his neighbour's daughter throwing dirt into a hole. The man asks "What are you doing little girl?" and the little girl replies
"I'm burying my budgie". The man asks
"Why is the hole so big?" and she replies
"BECAUSE IT'S IN YOUR FUCKING CAT!"

EDIT!
Budgie is a type of ...

Extreme sports

Five men walk into a pet store and buy a hen, a parrot and a budgie. The next day they head to the top of a cliff, where the first man grabs the hen and jumps off the cliff, falling to his death. The second man nervously clutches the parrot and proceeds to jump off the cliff with it as well, also re...

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My Dad sent me this email titled "Politically Correct Jokes"

Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex.
I woke this morning with a huge correction.



The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers .......
So I did.... she's 21 and her name's Lucy



My girlfriend sa...

Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched....

Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched.

One has some budgies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms.

After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground.

Laying next to each other in intensive care at the ho...

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