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Biker Gang Jokes

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A sweet, little old lady walks into a bar frequented by the baddest biker gang around.

She walks up to the leader, a real mountain of a man, and say she wants to join. He can barely contain his laughter, and decides to have some fun with her before he tells her off.

"Do you even own a bike?" he asks.

"I do. It's parked right outside."

"Do you swear?"

"More ...

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An 80 year old grandma wants to join an outlaw biker gang

The gang leader says "Well, do you have a bike?"

"Sure! I just bought a new Harley!"

"Are you ok with drugs?"

"I should hope so, I take 20 pills a day!"

"Last question, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

"No, but I got swung around by the tits once!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady is trying to join a biker gang...

Biker guy: "You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Her: "No, but I been swung around by the tits."

A biker gang comes into a transport cafe

and start picking on a little middle-aged man just sitting down to an all-day breakfast. They steal most of it, spit in his tea, and pull away his chair from under him, until eventually he gives up and walks out silently.

They laugh loudly and say to the waitress "He wasn't much of a man, was...

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A woman decided to join a biker gang to see what it was like...

After talking with the club president, a burly tough-looking guy, she was told that she was going to be asked some questions that would be used to decide if she qualified. She had never done anything illegal and had no idea what they expected, so she decided to put on her best bad girl act to impres...

The biker gang is visiting one of their members in the hospital after his accident.

"How did you even crash?!"

"Well, it was late at night, and I was a bit buzzed, and I saw a pair of idiots riding on either side of the road. Thought I would just slip past between them and be fine."

"And?"

"It was a car."

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An old lady wants to join a biker gang.

An old lady wants to join a biker gang so she goes down to the local biker bar and talks to the leader.

Biker: Lady I don't think you're cut out for this. We drink around the clock over here.

Old lady: That's not a problem. It may not look like it but I drink a fifth of Jack at night.<...

Man, after joining a Biker Gang: Do we or don’t we ride our bikes at the same speed?

Biker: Yes, we do. But stop calling it “synchronizing our cycles.”

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An older woman wants to join a biker gang.

So she strolls into a biker bar. A grizzly man comes up to her and asks what she is doing there. She says, "I want to join your gang."

"hahahaha" says the biker. "You even got a bike?"

"That's my Harley out there" she replies.

"OK fine, but do you smoke?"

"Three packs ...

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Four idiots were in the finals stages of becoming full members of the local skin-head biker gang. Their last assignment was to terrorize some Jews at a bar mitzvah later that afternoon.

They failed their final assignment because the rabbi saw them when they first arrived. He had the four skins immediately removed before they caused any trouble.

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The week in jail

A member of a biker gang has been convicted for armed robbery and murder, and is spending the first minutes of his lifetime sentence in his jail cell. Even though he is an extremely tough guy, not afraid of anything or anyone, he is having quite some difficulty controlling his tears when all of a su...

There was once a truck driver eating at a diner.

He was enjoying his meal, when a gang of bikers walked in. They started bullying him, by dumping salt and pepper all over him, spitting in his coffee, and stealing his food. To their surprise, the truck driver did nothing, but pay the bill, and walk out of the diner.

As they are marveling abo...

Truck driver

So, a truck driver stops at a diner for a cup of coffee, a piece of pie, and a chat with the waitress one evening. Everything’s going fine until a biker gang turns up. They park and come inside, looking for some action. It’s just the truck driver and the waitress, so they start in on the truck drive...

There was a man entering heaven's gate.

This is an old joke so I expect people already knew about it.

There was a man entering heaven's gate and St. Peter asked him. "What makes you think you deserve to enter heaven?"

The man replied when I was alive I once saw a biker gang harassing an old lady and when they are supposed t...

A biker is riding by the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries ...

A biker is riding by the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage, and hits the lio...

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Pearly Gates

A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafing through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. Saint Peter goes through the book several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did anything really good in your lif...

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Bar Bet

A man walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender and asks him if he has any bar bets that he could try out. The bartender says "Yes, in fact I do. I'll give you $10,000 if you can do three tasks". "That sounds reasonable, what do I have to do", the man replies. So the bartender tells him the thr...

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Jim and his Jolly Cattle Ranchers.

Jim had been a rancher for most of his adult life, it's only thing he was ever good at.


On Sunday evenings, Jim would head on down to the local bar to meet up with other cattle ranchers in the area and shoot the breeze. On such an evening, Jim was in the middle of an animated discussion ...

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The Biker and God

So God is watching this this biker as he rides in California, he was a real nasty guy in a biker gang, used to be a real bastard. Eventually he got married, had kids, left his life of crime behind him and became a really good guy. God then starts talking to him:
> So, you used to be a real bad...

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A boy is buying his first motorcycle

His mother is mortified that after saving up all through highschool he's going to risk his life and
buy a motorcycle in college. She asks him why he wants to ride and he replies "Because it's cool,
I'm an adult now, I want to feel free for once in my life"

His mum took that to heart. S...

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St Peter looks up as a man approaches the gates of Heaven.

St Peter looks up as a man approaches the gates of Heaven.

‘Do you seek to enter Heaven, my child?’ St Peter asks.

‘Sure am!’ says the man.

‘What good deeds did you accomplish in life?’ St Peter queries.

‘The best deed I ever did was when I saw this poor young lady being...

I got a good Kiwi Joke

A man walks into a bar and excitedly says to the bar tender, "Hey mate, I got a good Kiwi joke, want to hear it?

The bar tender replies, "I don't know about that bro, I'm a Kiwi"

"No, no, its a good one" the man says.

"Well Jim at the end of the bar is also a Kiwi" says the bar ...

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