People always ask me why I celebrate 420 a second time at april 22nd

I just thought, 422 is 420 too

In honor of 420

Police Officer: "How high are you?"

Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"

Just realized that my cake day is 420!

Now that's funny!

My wife got mad because I lost £3,420 gambling. Jesus, woman! It's not even YOUR money...

Anymore.

What's 420 blaze it in french?

80 blaze it!

My friend told this to me the other day, so I apologize if this is a repost or anything like that.

A man is pulled over for speeding.

Police Officer: Sir, were you aware you were going 68 MPH on a 45?

Man: No sir.

Officer: Well, you were, and that's far too high. You'll have to be in court.

Man: Well, can you at least raise the number a bit so we can get the judge to s...

Why did the cows go to the Marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

In honor of 420.

In honor of those who have forgotten 4/20

Fret not, cause today is 420 too! Happy earth day

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yes I get all the cool numbers- 420 is a weed thing, 69 is a sex thing...

and 9:45 is bedtime.

422 = 420

Because 422 is 420 too

I'm getting tired of the 420 jokes

If I can be blunt about it.

What did the llama say at 420

Alpaca bowl

What number is higher than infinity?

420

What happens on 420 in Saudi Arabia

A lot of people get stoned

Ben has 911 candies. He eats 420. What does he have now?

Diabetes.
Ben has diabetes.

Cop: You were going 68 in a 55

Me: Dang, 68? Can you make that number a little higher so I can hear the judge saying it out loud?

Cop: Sure whatever

[Later in traffic court]

Judge: How the hell were you going 420 in a 55?

Three men died and went to heaven

Three men died and went to heaven. Where it has been decreed that each person gets a vehicle according to their deeds.
The first man arrives and god asks "How long were you married for?"
"20 Years" said the first man
"And how many times did you cheat on your wife?" God asked
"Uhh... 5 ti...

If Americans in Niagara Falls want to get to Canada for legal marijuana...

They have to take the 420 Highway!

(It’s actually true. Look it up.)

Louis Vuitton bag

Why is it that a French woman never managed to sell a $80 Louis Vuitton bag in the US?

She kept saying it's $420.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is leaving work late. He gets into his car and goes home.

On the way he reaches a long, straight stretch of road with no other cars, so he decides to speed up a bit.

As he passed a lay-by, a police car turns on its lights and sirens and motions to him to pull over.

The man does, and a police officer gets out and walks up to the man.

"D...

skipping church

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally
beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he
told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass
for him that day.

As soon as the Associate ...

Friend - What is you new year’s resolution?

Me - 420 x 69

Speeding ticket

A man gets pulled over by a policeman.
Policeman: You were going 68 in a 50 zone, I will have to write you a ticket.
Man: Alright, just make the number a little cooler so we can laugh when the judge reads it.

[later in court]
Judge: How the flying Fri...

If the Naruto runner isnt in rewind,

420 BILLION DISLIKES

I’m okay with smoking marijuana.

But cocaine is where I draw the line.

A man, his wife and the hotel receptionist

Man: Hello, I'am in room 420. Please send someone over immidiately. I'am having an argumemt with me wife and she wants to jump from the window.

Receptionist: Iam sorry sir but thats personal matter.

Man: Listen you dumb f*ck, the window is not opening and that's a maintenance problem!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Biggest guy I've ever seen

So I was on my way to the bank to ask for a loan. I got into the elevator and it stops on the second floor. As the doors open a huge man ducks down to get into the elevator. I gulp and attempt to ask what floor? A hand the size of a diner plate reaches over and hits the close door button. This gi...

What's the highest number in the world?

420

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yesterday my GF seemed very nervous about giving me head...

..and instead was wildly smacking and hitting my thighs and lower stomach.
She seemed to be beating around the bush.

People always say I should be lucky to be able to live off workers comp, but it cost me an arm and a leg!

I was out of town for a couple weeks and I decided letting m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's common between Hitler and Taco Bell

Both are responsible for gassing lots of people.

_________
Source:


http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/skeh8/taco_bell_on_420/c4eqbvj?context=2

How do you cook a stoned ham?

420℉ Glaze it
Ok I'm leaving

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