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Your Face Jokes

Your face is like the sun

It burns my eyes

What do you call it when someone looks at your face and says you look good?

Sarcasm.

If a guy says you're hot, he's looking at your body. If he says you're pretty, he's looking at your face...

If he says you're fabulous, he's looking at your brother

Your face is so ugly

when your momma dropped you off to school she got a littering fine

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's worse than waking up with a dick drawn on your face?

Someone telling you it was traced on.
[edits up: guys i gotta say something - HOLY SHIT MY PHONE EXPLODED FROM REPLIES]
[edits up again: have the credits
https://youtube.com/shorts/hSK1Vyoimps?feature=share this joke was too funny not to tell]

Why is your nose in the middle of your face?

Because it's the scenter.

What flower is on your face?

Your tulips.

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What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?

Finding out it was traced

I asked my 7 year old, "Why do you have chocolate all over your face?"

He said, "Saving it for leftovers."

That boy cracks me up.

A girl said, "I hate your face"

I said, "So sit on something else."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dear Women,When a guy calls you hot,he's looking at your body,When a guy calls you pretty,he's looking at your face, When a guy calls you Beautiful,he's looking at your heart

All 3 guys still want to fuck you,though

Why is your nose in the middle of your face?

Because it's the scenter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They didn’t draw a dick on your face at last nights party…

..they traced it.

Teacher: You should wash your face in the morning

"I can tell what you had for breakfast. You ate scrambled eggs"

Student; "Haha, you're wrong, sir. I ate eggs yesterday".

What do you call a single tear on your face the day of your wedding?

Eye dew.

The doctor on the radio said to treat your face mask like you do your underwear

So I turn in inside out every day

Scarlett Johansson is on a plane that crashes on a remote island.

She and some regular guy are the only two survivors. They make the best of their situation, scavenge what supplies they can from the plane, and try to keep going.

They build a little hut on the beach and - both of them having certain "needs" - eventually start hooking up.

This keep goi...

Anyone can bring a smile to your face

Especially when you push them down the stairs

"I want your face to be the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing I see before falling asleep"

"Oh my God! Are you proposing?"

"What? NO! Just setting your photo as my phone wallpaper. Geez!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a woman keeps queefing in your face?

Cunnilingusts.

What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that gets right up in your face?

Too close for comfort food.

If you ever need to look like you have a beard, glue a rabbit to your face.

And presto-chango, facial hare!

Take that look off your face

A man with a huge grin approaches a priest.
"Bless me father, for I have sinned," he says. "I've spent the week with seven beautiful women."
"Do not fret, my son," says the priest. "All you need to do is take seven lemons, squeeze the juice into a glass and drink the juice."
"Will tha...

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Did you hear about the arrogant group of ghosts that like to get up in your face?

They're Boo! cocky....

Whether she kicks you in the groin or sits on your face...

Taint gonna happen either way.

Nothing like waking up to the gentle pitter-patter of rain drops falling on your face.

Now to only figure out who robbed my roof.

What do you call an unhealthy glow on your face after a week long cocaine bender?

Charlie Sheen.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face...

For instance, when you push them down the stairs.

My daughter asked me, "Daddy, why is your nose in the middle of your face?"

I smirked and replied, "Because it's the scenter."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a guy and his gf are making out

and the girl tells the guy she really wants to do 69. The guy agrees but remembers his girl is on her period so he declines. The Gf begs and he finally agrees, thinking a little bit of blood can’t be too bad.

After they get going and are having a good time, the doorbell rings.

“Oh sh...

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When a girl asks you "Does my butt looks big in this?" That is her way of asking you to set the difficulty for the evening...

Easy mode: Of course not honey, you look wonderful.

Medium mode: Hmm, maybe try a different pair of pants.

Hard mode: Yes, but it looks big in anything.

Impossible mode: Yes, but on the bright side, it draws attention away from your face.

Never Text an Apology

THE ORIGINAL TEXT MESSAGE:
Hi Bob, This is Alan next door. I’m sorry buddy, but I have a
confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few
months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to
your face, but I am at least now telling in text as I can’t l...

A spider just crawled on your face.

I can see defeat in your eyes.

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face."

I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

water can solve all your problems, want to lose weight, drink mor water, want to wake up, splash want water on your face, someone getting on your nerves,

drown them

A Silver sister can't remember your face

But a Silver Bromide

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Read this.. It will put smile on your face * GUARANTEED *

A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a small house. Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, gray beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much a...

Which sultry-voiced singer will happily spit in your face?

Llama Del Rey.

How do you avoid bats flying into your face?

Don't go to baseball games.

What kind of pasta should you NEVER put on your face?

Ziti!

(This might be a repost, but my mom just thought of it and I thought it was hilarious 😘)

That music store downtown called Hot Jazz in Your Face closed

People just stopped coming

Would a hurricane close it's doors in your face?

No, but a Lakewood.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Your face is kinda similar to a planet...

''Oh yeah, Which one?''

''Uranus''

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