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Traffic Stop Jokes

Traffic stop

A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man’s truck and said, “Why are these penguins in your truck?”
The man replied, “These are my penguins. They belong to me.”
“You need to take them to the zoo,” the policeman said.
The next day...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Traffic Stop

A man is pulled over by a police officer.

The policeman approaches the driver's door. "Is there a problem, Officer?"

The officer says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?"

The driver responds, "I'd give it to you, but I don't have one."

"You don't ha...

What does a cop with Alzheimers always say at routines traffic stops,

“Do you know why I pulled you over???”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The pope's traffic stop

The pope is on tour in the United States. He's sitting in the back of the popemobile, and he says to himself, "You know, this is really getting to be a drag. Every day it's the same crowds, the same homily." Then a light bulb goes on. He says, "Driver, pull over. I'm going to drive for a while. You ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man drives into a traffic stop by the police...

As soon as he stops a police officer is walking up to the man's car and asks him to roll down the window.
Police Officer: Good evening Sir! May I see your driver's license and registration?
The Man: Yes sure Officer.
As the man hands over his papers he asks the Officer:
Why are you ch...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Traffic stop

A man gets pulled over for going 5 miles over the speed limit. He says to the cop "youre gonna ticket me for goin FIVE MILES over the limit?"
Cop says "you betcha."
The man asks "is it against the law to call a cop an asshole?"
The cop replies "yep i wouldnt recommend it."
"Well is it ag...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Traffic Stop.

A Texas State trooper pulled a car over on I-35 about 2 miles south of Waco Texas. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Austin Texas to do a show for the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.

The trooper...

An ISIS member was performing...

An ISIS member was performing a routine traffic stop looking for infidels, and stopped the car of a Christian couple. “Are you Muslim?” asked the ISIS member. “Yes,” replied the Christian man, “I’m Muslim.”
The ISIS member says, “If you are a Muslim, then recite a verse of Quran.” The Christian m...

Late Night Traffic Stop

A man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.
The man replies, "I am on my way to attend a lecture about gambling, hookers,
alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking, and staying out late."
The officer the...

Traffic Stop

John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer:
- "Is there a problem, Officer?"
- "No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and I'm pleased award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're to do w...

A Korean immigrant was beaten up by police after they asked for his name and registration papers during a routine traffic stop.

"I never have received seen such bad behaviour by cops" said Mr Fuuk Yu.

Doubtful German police press release

In 2020, German police announced that they had to fire shots at people a total of 62 times throughout 2019.

However, the U.S. Ambassador to Germany doubted these figures, as he did not believe that there have been only two traffic stops in the entire year in the whole of Germany.

Congress has been hijacked by terrorists:

Washington DC is at a standstill and traffic is stuck in gridlock.

A man in a car is waiting patiently for the traffic to clear up but doesn't understand why it's there in the first place.

Another man is walking down the side of the highway with a bucket knocking on people's windows an...

2 Black teens enroll in Harvard. 1 studies to be a Medical Doctor, the other studies to be a lawyer. If becoming a doctor takes 4 years of class and 3 years of residency and becoming lawyer takes 1 years less of school then which one....

.... will get shot in a routine traffic stop first?

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