UPJOKE
germanystandard gaugeo scales gaugeho scalen scaletoytrainclockworkbatteryleipzigscale modellegobriotomy

Toy Train Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy is playing with his toy trains...

...in the living room while his mom is doing chores around the house. While cleaning, the mom overhears her son talking to his toy trains.


"Alright, you sons of bitches, we've arrived at your stop. Get your shit and get off my damn train!"


Astonished at what she'd just heard, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little boy with a toy train.

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you so...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Toy Trains and Boobies have in common?

They're meant for the kids, but dad likes to play with them too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do womens' breasts & toy trains have in common?

There're intended for children, but it's the fathers that wind up playing with them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All You Nice People Can Board the Train

This is the first "grown up joke" I remember an adult telling me as a kid:


A little boy was playing with his toy train on the floor. He pulled the train around the track and stopped at the little station.

"Coo Choo! All you bastards who want off the train, get off the train. All...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How are breasts like toy trains?

They're both meant for kids but grown men can't resist playing with them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy is playing with a toy train in the living room

He says "ALRIGHT MOTHER FUCKERS! Get on the train dont waste my fucking time! lets GO GO GO!"

The mother hears this and, aghast, says "Johnny! Where did you learn to talk like that! This is totally unacceptable!"

For a time-out she had him sit in the bathroom for 2 hours without his t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young boy was playing with his toy train...

A young boy was playing with his toy train in the living room. In a loud voice he says, 'The train goes zoomin' around and zoomin' around and zoomin' around!" Followed by, "Ding Ding!! Now arriving at the station! All you mother fuckers that want to get off the train, get off the train!. All you...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How are toy trains and boobs similar?

Both are made for the kid, but daddy ends up playing with them more often.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Timmy’s playing with his trains

He’s sitting at the dining room table and his toy train pulls up to the station. Timmy says “We’ve arrived at Union Station, if this is your stop, get the fuck off, if you’re heading north, get the fuck on we’re ready to go.”

Timmy’s mom hears him say this and scolds her son. She tells him...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Young Samuel Jackson (an old one, adapted)

Young Samuel Jackson got a toy train for Christmas one year. His parents set up the track for him, and he happily sat down to play while the parents went about their business.

Sam yelled, "All you motherfuckers gettin on the train, get on the train! All you motherfuckers gettin off the train...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny the Train Conductor

Little Johnny was in the kitchen playing with his toy train as his father cooked dinner. Little Johnny stopped the train and said, ''All you damn assholes who want to get off, get the hell off. All those who want to get on, get the hell on!''
''Little Johnny!'' exclaimed his father. ''I can't bel...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Buttermilk pancakes and an orange Popsicle

There once was a man who loved trains more than anything else in the world. Ever since he was a boy, he would play with his toy trains and dream of driving trains for a real train company.



So, when he turned 18, he packed his bags and waved goodbye to his family. He headed out the doo...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.