UPJOKE
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Stupid people are like glow sticks.

I want to snap them and shake the shit out of them until the light comes on.

Stupid people are like Slinkies.

They don't have much purpose, but it's fun to push them down the stairs.

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Why are there so many stupid people in the world?

Because shitty parents don’t know how to swallow

I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people

I'm just
saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.

I can't stand those stupid people who knock on your door and tell you how you need to be "saved" or you'll "burn".

Stupid firemen.

God must love stupid people!

He made SO many.

Only stupid people never change their minds

That's what I've always said.

What's the term for the number of stupid people in an area?

Duncity.

Two stupid people and the accident

Two people were arrested for running over and killing 12 people late at night.

When they were questioned at the police station about how it happened, they said ,'We were driving home and realised that the brakes on our car weren't working and in front of us there were two options, either run ...

Stupid People Rehab

A group of stupid people were put in rehab. The doctors wanted to see if they made any progress and decided that the person who passes this test will be let out. The test was to put them all into an empty room with no windows or visible exit.

They drew an obviously fake door on the wall an...

Stupid people fearing

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed...

haha Belgians dumb

The King of Belgian visits the King of the Netherlands and laments that the Dutch people always make fun of the Belgian people. "Can't you just do something rediculously stupid? That way we have something to make fun of you. Just make a bridge in the middle of the desert, that would be so dumb"
<...

Stupid people need a CPU upgrade,

colorblind people need a GPU upgrade.

Just thought of this a few minutes ago, thought you guys might like it.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him?

I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

The oldest man in the world is lying on his deathbed.

A reporter asks him how he managed to live to be so old.

The man replies, "I just don't argue with stupid people."

The reporter tells him, "That's ridiculous."

The old man replies with, "Yes, you're right."

Tourist: "Guru, what's the secret of happiness?"

Tourist: "Guru, what's the secret of happiness?"
Guru: "Don't argue with stupid people."
Tourist: "That's nonsense."
Guru: "You are right."

Three things I cannot stand:

* stupid people
* judgemental people
* double standards
* people who can't count
* lists
* irony

Donald Trump and Mike Pence were talking when Trump. said, "I hate all the dumb jokes people tell about me."

Wise Old Pence, feeling sorry for his old boss, said sage-like, "Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you." Pence took Trump outside and hailed a taxi driver. "Please take me to Number One Observatory Circle in northwestern Washington to see if ...

A: Hey, How do you manage to stay cool all the time?

B: I don’t get into arguments with stupid people. I just cut it short and say, “You’re right.”
A: But that’s completely irrational and wrong!
B: You’re right.

Life has never given me lemons

It has given me anger issues, anxiety, stress, a love for alcohol, and a serious dislike for stupid people

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One African immigrant works as a street cleaner

He hates his job. People disrespect him. A friend of him, working as him, coming from the same village, tells him to quit. The guy refuses, says he has a family to take care and keeps cleaning.


His friend tells him to stop and to look at the shop. He sees some crocodile leather shoes sold...

Little joke my younger brother once pulled/said to me.

He comes home from school all excited and says

"Hey Ace, have you ever seen the clown that hides from stupid people?"

Me just kind of ignoring him but catching on to what he says to late I reply "nope"

He says "yeah I didn't think you would see him."

Damn Little kids man.

I wish the book "How to be an adult" came in hard cover...

.. it would be that much more effective at bonking stupid people in the head.

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