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Shrooms Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dave's wife is out for the night and he decides to eat some shrooms. He passes out and wakes up at the pearly gates of heaven.

St Peter greets him and explains that he's actually died from eating some bad shrooms. However, if he makes dinner for Jesus and his 12 disciples *AND* they happen to like it, he'll be revived back on earth.

He enters a huge kitchen, packed with every kind of ingredient imaginable. Dave coul...

I'll shotgun a beer, rip a bong, munch some shrooms...

But cocaine is where I draw the line.

What do you get when Keanu Reeves takes shrooms?

Neosporin

Just got and took 4 grams of shrooms for half the normal price.

I am literally beside myself

A guy I hate started doing shrooms

Since then he's become a fungi

Ate some weird mushrooms last night and somehow ended up in a Mazda car sales yard tripping like crazy....

Shroom Shroom.

When my friend takes shrooms, he instantly becomes the life of the party.

What a fungi to be around.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rabbit and a bear go to take a shit in the woods of wonderland…

The rabbit “a bit intimidated by the large bear” offers him one of his extra mushrooms that the large bear gladly accepts. The rabbit then looks at the bear and says hey - “does shit stick to your fur?” The bear “munching on the shrooms and shrinking” says - Hell no, my fur is immaculate”. The rabbi...

Nintendo has explicitly banned Chris Pratt from using method acting for the Mario movie

They have warned him that eating shrooms on set is both unprofessional and illegal.

What happened to the emo

A depressed emo high off shrooms was walking in the forest when he came across a tree with arms. He tried to give him a high-five but the tree left him hanging.

I just took my pilots Ed test high on magic mushrooms.

I passed with flying colors.

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