UPJOKE
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S1 Jokes

A lady pregnant with triplets goes into a bank where there is a robbery

She gets shot 3 times and is rushed to the hospital and there the doctor tells her the she will be fine and so will her children but when there older they will need to remove the bullets.

12 years pass and one day one of the children walks runs to the mom

S1: Mommy mommy I peed out a b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some nsfw funnies I remembered

1)

There was a dad whose response was very odd to stuff asked by his son.

S: Can I ride my bike to school?

D: Does your dick touch your asshole?

S: No

D: Well there's your answer

So on and so forth, "Can I date girls?", "Can I smoke?", "Can I skip school tod...

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None.
It's their job to help people find their way in dark places!

(MASH s1 ep7)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Georgia and Connecticut girls

Two freshmen girls are moving into their dorm room together. One of them’s from Georgia, one of them’s from Connecticut. The girl from Connecticut’s helping her mother put up curtains. Girl from Georgia turns to them and says, “Hi. Where y’all from?” Girl from Connecticut says, “we’re from a place w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[slight racism] So a Hercules plane is failing while carrying a small squad...

A Hercules plane has a motor go kapputt while in flight. The soldiers inside start throwing equipment off the plane to keep it lighter and help it fly better until it can land, but after they toss almost everything, the general says:

* General: We need to throw someone out of the plane!
...

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