What’s a pirate’s favourite sound?

A.S.M.ARRR

What is a pirates favorite letter?

You’d think it’d be Rrr but ‘tis the C!

I make a living by sending my talking dog out to the streets to beg for change.

Today, he's come home empty handed. I asked why, but all he says is, "ruff ruff, grrrRRrRrrrr".

I don't get it, he was talking when I sent him out this morning and now he makes no cents.

The Talking Dog version two

A man walks into a bar with a mutt on a leash.

The bartender says "Hey, Mac. We don't allow dogs in here!"

The man says, "But wait, he's a special talking dog. Can we stay if I can prove it?"

The bartender thinks for a second and says, "Fine, prove he can talk and I'll let you...

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