What did Raggedy Ann say

to Pinnochio?

Tell the truth. Tell a lie. Tell the truth. Tell a lie. Tell the truth. Tell a lie. Tell the truth. Tell a lie. Tell the truth. Tell a lie. Tell the truth. Tell a lie.

A raggedy old nun was walking home ....

.... from the convent one evening, when an old man jumped out of the bushes and had his way with her.

The man laughed and said: "What will you tell the Holy Father NOW, Sister?"

And the nun replied: "I can't lie to the Lord! I must say I was walking home from the convent when a man j...

Raggedy beards

When I was a kid, the only people with long, raggedy beards were the creepy guys outside my school that offered me free candy. Now that they’re in style, I don’t know who to get my free candy from anymore.

A funeral home director was meeting with a grieving widow

The funeral director was showing the widow the final touches they had done to her husband's corpse before the funeral the next day.

As the director was showing her the way they had put the finishing touches on and dressed up the deceased, the widow burst into tears.

The director,...

Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"

Clothes make the man (Joke from my nephew)

What's the difference between a sharp-dressed fellow on a bicycle and a raggedy looking guy on a unicycle?

Attire.

A man joins a Tibetan temple

He takes a vow of silence but is allowed to say two words every year.

After an arduous 12 months of eating rice, sleeping on a wooden bed with a raggedy blanket, and working 14-hour days in the field, the man goes to the head monk and says his two words:

“More blankets.”

Anoth...

"I'm NOT a window cleaner!"

(Inspired by IT crowd)

One gloomy day in London a man by the name of Roy walks in a park, taking a short break from his job in an IT department. Suprisingly, he runs into an old school friend named Alister during his walk, and they catch up. Alister is a local writer for a very famous publish...

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John is invited to meet the Pope.

John is very anxious about the meeting. He spends hours picking the right suit and making sure his hair looks just right. After what seems like an eternity, John is satisfied with his appearance.

When John arrives to meet the Pope there are about 50 other people in line ahead of him, so John ...

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No one can drink that much beer!

A woman and her husband go into a bar

The husband drink three pitchers in ten minutes.

He goes to the bathroom to empty out his bladder.

While inside a raggedy man comes up to his wife and says "I want to kiss you"

"My husband's in the bathroom! Absolutely not!" She ret...

A man walks into a pet shop

He'd like to buy a pet for his lonely, widowed mother. The shop owner shows him all of the usual stuff,
hamsters, puppies, kittens, etc. and the man tells the owner that he's looking for something unique.

The owner takes him to the back of the shop and introduces him to raggedy looking par...

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A nun walks into a bar looking like she'd just been in a dog fight.

Her clothes are all torn and raggedy and covered in crap. She sits down and orders a beer.

He pours her a pint and watches as she downs it in one, burps, then hawks up some phlegm and spits it on the floor. She follows this up by lifting her ass to the side and letting out a humongous resona...

did you hear what the little boy found when he opened his toy box?

Raggedy Ann setting on Pinocchio's face screaming,"Lie to me, lie to me."

The Legionaire and the Camel

This guy joins the French Foreign Legion and gets sent to a fort way out in the desert, several miles from the nearest town. There are only men at the fort-- no women. After a few months our legionnaire becomes rather desperate for female companionship, so finally he approaches the crusty old sergea...

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