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Print On Jokes

My grandad asked me how to print on his computer...

I told him it’s Ctrl-P. He says he hasn’t been able to do that for ages.

Grandpa asked me how to print on his new computer.

I said: "Just control-p."

He said: "I haven't been able to do that for years!"

I recently bought a corset with a dollar-bill print on it.

I think everyone else likes it as much as I do, because whenever I show them a picture of me wearing it they say 'what a waist of money!'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old lady, a blond chick with big tits, an American guy and a Canadian guy...

...are all sitting together on a train traveling through the Rockey Mountains. As they pass through a tunnel it becomes pitch black and a lout SLAP breaks the silence. As the train emerges from the tunnel, the American guy has a bright red hand print on his face.

The old lady thinks "That g...

Charles visits his grandpa...

On the first morning of the visit, Charle’s grandpa prepares a breakfast of bacon and eggs. Charles notices a weird substance on his plate and asks, “Grandpa, are you sure these plates are clean?”

grandpa replies, “They’re as clean as cold water can get them, just eat your breakfast.”

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bill, Hillary, Donald and Melania were sitting together in the train

... when the train went through a tunnel and the compartment reverberated with the noise of a tight SLAP! When the train came out the Donald had a swelling red hand print on his face. Bill thought, "Stupid buffon must have grabbed Hillary's pussy". Donald thought, "Bill must have grabbed Melania's...

The Computer Nerd and His Apprentice

So, I have a story about a wise old computing nerd and his new technological apprentice. He wanted to tell his young child some core life morals, as well as teach about old technology.

The wise man first showed the kid a polaroid camera. The kid quickly took it, and snapped a photo, but was v...

A blonde was determined to prove people wrong

So she speaks to her husband about this after reading dozens of blond jokes.

“I’m fed up with this, I’ve never done something so stupid! I can do something to prove everyone wrong about blondes and what a better opportunity since we just moved into this house.”

Husband replies with a c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Truth will set you free.

A boss had an affair for the first time with his secretary. They spent time in his office till late at night. They had wild sex and when they were done, the secretary turned to him and said, it is late and you are all messed up, your wife will take one look at you and realize what we did.

Do...

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