UPJOKE
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I bought a Bonnie Tyler Sat Nav

Total waste of money, all it ever does it tell me to turn around, and every now and then it falls apart.

I love my sat nav!

I just don't know where I'd be without it!

Just bought a sat nav from Jon Bon Jovi

Yeah, decent condition, good price and always let's you know when your half way there......

I really hate my new John Denver Sat Nav.

While it may well take me home, it's always down some country roads.

Bought a new sat nav made by the band U2 , bloody things useless.

The streets have no names

You can now buy celebrity-voiced sat-navs for your car.

I bought the Princess Diana version. It just keeps saying "Put your foot down, I think we can lose them"

Frankie Boyle

My wife broke her SatNav and wants $150 for a new one.

She can get lost.

I'm not saying that I'm a bad driver...

But when I drive, my sat nav doesn't speak, it prays in Latin.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

remember when jokes like this were funny... before smartphones?

A chap walks into a pub carrying two suitcases. He puts them down and orders a drink. As he pays the barman notices that he is wearing a large watch.

'That's a large watch' says the barman (see I told you!)

'This watch,' says the man, 'is the very latest in high tech gadgetry. It'll te...

"Quick!" I yelled to the taxi driver. "My wife is giving birth!"

He said, "Ok, Ok. Let me just search for the hospital on my sat nav."

"Hospital?" I replied. "I need you to drive me to the airport."

I just recieved the worst gift of all time...

.. A Bonnie Tyler sat nav. Keeps on telling me to “turn around”

And every now and then it falls apart.

Still, not as bad as the U2 one, where the streets have no names, and I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

Us NAVY joke

Believe it or not...this is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.

US Ship: Please divert your cou...

So my wife went missing. I went to the police to report her disappearance...

The policeman asked “What is she wearing?”
I replied “I don’t recall”.
The policeman asked “What is her height?”
I replied “Average”.
The policeman asked “Weight?”
I replied “Who knows?”
The policeman asked “Hair colour?”
I replied “Mmm what month ar...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You gota map?

An old pilot regains his desire to fly, so he acquires all of the needed certifications to fly for a popular airline. Sitting down as a first officer, waiting for the lead pilot, a younger flight officer takes a seat at a small table behind the old aviator. The old man asks "who are you" to which ...

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