UPJOKE
accumulatingactingadoptersairspeedbattleshipsbeatbiplanesboilingbounderbowlersbreakingbrewingchangingdyingfrying

Movin Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farm boy took his pet duck and got in his pickup to go to the movin’ picture show in town.

He walked up to the ticket booth with his duck under his arm to buy a ticket, but the girl said, “sir, you can’t bring that bird in here”.

The country boy tries to explain ’bout how the duck is a housebroken pet, but the girl says, “SIR, I’m sorry but you can’t bring that animal into the thea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Johnny's teacher noticed him walking down the street one Saturday--

She was used to Little Johnny's antics by now, but this time was weird, even for him. He was holding a cat, and what looked like a pack of Tic-tacs. He would walk for a little bit, stop, eat a couple of candies, bite the cat, and start walking again.

When they got close enough, she asked, "Li...

Yo momma's so fat...

United airlines employees said " let the goddamn computer choose someone else. I ain't movin that!"

A hunter and his friend are walking down a path when they spot a deep hole in the ground.

The hunter says "how far do ya reckon that hole goes?" The friend replies with "i don't know, lets chuck something down there and find out." They both lug an old radiator from the nearby bushes over to it and let it fall in. They start to count and listen for the thud, but before they hear it land, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Playing truck driver...nsfw

I ran into a kid sittin’ on the curb.

He would eat an m&m, bite his cat on the ass, and move on down the curb. Eat and m&m, bite his cat on the ass, and move on down the curb.

I said son, “what are you doing?”

He said, “playin truck driver.”

I said, “tru...

Yo mamma so poor

I saw her kicking a can down the street. Asked her what she was doing and she said "Movin'"

What's the opposite of quantum physics?

Logic.


(If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin')


...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference).

A hillbilly knocks on the door of his neighbor's house...

"Howdy neighbor", he says. "In honor of you movin' in to the holler, I'm gonna throw a party. There's gonna be a whole lot of drinkin', a whole lot of dancin' and a whole lot of screwin'."

"Sounds like fun", the neighbor says... "what can I bring?"

Hillbilly replies, "You can bring any...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heard this one on Comedy (Sirius Radio) awhile back. It's by the late Jay Hickman.

This boy was sitting on the sidewalk eating candy and then he would pick up a cat and bite it on the ass, then get up and move down the sidewalk and do the same - eat the candy, bite the cat on the ass, get up and move down the side walk. This guy driving by see this and says, "Hey, what are doing?...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Truck Driver

Got in off the road last friday. Little neighbor boy was sittin' out on the curb with a bag of m&m's and an alley cat. He'd eat an M&M, reach down grab the cat and bite it, stand up and move about 3feet. Eat an M&M, bite the cat, move about 3Feet. I said "boy what are doin'? He said, "I'...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.