"Tonight we're eating good" I said to my wife as I walked in the door, "I got us some Himalayan Hare."
"Now where did you get something like that?" She asked. ... "Well," I explained, "I was walking down the road and I found Him-a-layin' right there!"
Three Nights Drunk - Folksong [Long]
Late one night when I came home So drunk I couldn't see, I saw a horse in the stable Where my horse ought to be.
Wifey dear, oh wifey dear, Oh please explain to me, How come a horse in the stable Where my horse ought to be?
You old fool, you stupid fool, It's plain...
The Italian Beach ()
Mario and Luigi, two Italians recently out of jail, see each other at a bar. "Luigi! You friggin guy! how are ya, i heard you just got outa jail," Mario drunkenly exclaimed. "Yeahs, i was ina the jail for robbery, how about you Mario?" slurred Luigi. "well," began mario, shaking his head sadly "i ...
Patrick was drinking heavily on a Tuesday night at his local pub.
He raised his glass and proclaimed, in toast, "here's to spending the rest of me life, layin' in bed next to me wife."
The toast was met with raucous cheers and applause. Patrick was given the toast of the night award, given out on every Tuesday at the pub.
When he brought the trophy h...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A guy moves out of the city to become a chicken farmer.
He buys a plot of property in the middle of nowhere, and walks to the nearest town to meet the local townspeople and see who's who for chicken farming. A local says, "Go see the farmer that-a-way", pointing towards the opposite side of town from where the man came. "He's a ways out there, but he's...
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