UPJOKE
idcstandardleaguefollowerdependswifebrandsashamedglitchhappenedirritationpartyawardeeidrteletubbies

IDK what's so hard about cancer

I'm already on stage 4

What does idk stand for?

Literally everyone I ask doesn't know.

What does "IDK" mean?

I keep asking people, but they don't know either.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend told m this idk if it’s from someone else

So a pregnant lady with triplets is at a bank … and it starts getting robbed, the bank robber shoots her three times in the stomach. The doctors miraculously save each baby.




about 16 years pass and each shield is old and healthy, one girl and two boys.


The girl say...

Idk if this is a repost but here goes

A psychiatrist is talking to one of his most difficult patients. "Let's go back to what you said last time, about how all of your troubles began, what was it, a year ago?"

"Sure thing, Doc. Well, as I said, I had gotten into the Airbnb scene at the time, and I had a couple of, "tenants", as i...

i made this up as a kid or seen it on the internet or smth...idk it is funny

3 aliens come down to earth...examining earth and humans on this planet. They wanted to interact with the species so they agreed to split up.

The first alien went to a classroom at a school. He was surrounded by a lot of kids Yelling the word 'ME ME ME' repeatedly as the kids were jumping up...

idk about others. but I actually like dad jokes.

for e.g. my dad will come home after buying milk.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

i have a funny joke but idk if it even works

i started to masturbate using other things, guess it got *out of hand*

idk what to put the title as

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie.........

The man decided to try it out at dinner.

Dad: Son, where were you during school hours?

Son: At school

*The robot slaps the son*

Son: OK! I was at my friend’s house watching a DVD

Dad: W...

What does IDK mean?

My Dad: What does “IDK” mean?

Me: I don’t know.

My Dad: Ugh! Nobody does!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Idk where i heard it

A man flies to Australia, when he arrives the lady at the airport asks him if he has a criminal record, the man answers ''crap are those still required?''

Idk, a long old joke

A very elderly couple is seated at a table in a bar. The woman looks over to the man, holding his hand and says, "Do you remember meeting me for the first time right here 50 years ago?"
The husband replies, "Yes dear."
The wife says, "Do you remember what we did afterwards?"
The husb...

Idk how to climb stairs

Anyone have a step by step tutorial?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Might be a repost idk.

A man asked a nun on the bus if they could have sex. The nun, disgusted, said no and got off. Then the bus driver said that the nun prays in the graveyard at midnight every Wednesday. So he goes there, and to his surprise, the nun says yes but only anal as she wants to keep her virginity. After they...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Funny Joke (IDK if it has been posted before)

You can never tell a constipated guy your problems,



**he just wont give a shit**

Can someone please tell me what TBH IDK mean?

and please stop saying to be honest i don't know

The walnut tree (idk what to put for title lol)

One day, Johnny and his friend Bobby walked into the cemetery. There were a lot of fallen walnuts from the walnut tree that they wanted to share. They started splitting them and Johnny said "One for you, one for me! One for you, one for me!"

At this time, a little boy was biking along the roa...

Idk I’m drunk

Knock knock “

Who’s there

Horton hears a”

Horton hears a who?!.

IDK who thrusted their leg

but I got a kick out of it.

Two guys moving a futon to the 100th floor(this is a joke in my native language idk how good it can be translated)

Two guys moving a futon to the 100th floor.

At the 25th floor:
1st guy: T..th...
2nd guy: Tell me when we arrive

At the 50th floor:
1st guy:T..thi...
2nd guy: Tell me when we arrive we dont have time

At the 100th floor:
2nd guy: So what did u want to tell me?
1...

What does "IDK" on a text message mean?

No one that I've asked seems to know!

“LOL stands for laugh out loud and BRB stands for be right back but what does IDK stand for?”

“I don’t know”

“Alright fine I’ll ask somebody else.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What sexual position makes ugly babies?

Idk, ask your parents.

Help, idk how to integrate my ideas into jokes

They seem too derivative.

This is a portuguese joke so idk how well it will be in English but...

A man orders rice and beans in a restaurant. When his meal comes he notices a little fiber in his food and tells the waiter. The waiter then explains theres nothing to worry about, its just from the sack of beans. However the man still insists on getting another plate. The waiter, complying, yells o...

Bought some shoes from my drug dealer.

idk what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This joke is popular with lebanese people, idk if everyone will find it funny but here we go

Mr. Abed and Mrs. Abed recently moved to a new building on the first floor. They were very happy they moved to a better area, but little did they know there was a man living in the second floor who plays the violin. At night when they went to sleep, the man started playing the violin and it was beau...

Idk about you guys but my parents never taught me about "the birds and the bees."

So when it came down to doing it, I had no idea how to extract honey from a beehive

Idk if someone has already posted this joke but... How does Spider-Man come up with such witty comebacks?

With great power comes great response-ability

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First post here so idk if it’s already been done. What kind of erection does a musician get?

A tromboner

A guard asks a woman on death row what she’d like for her final meal.

“idk, what do you want?”

Jesus and Moses in Heaven

One beautiful day in Heaven, Jesus and Moses were fishing in a lake. After a while of silence, Jesus asked Moses, "Hey Moses, can you still do it? You know... 'Your thing'?" Moses then answered, "I don't know, let me see if I still got it!"

He then stood up and drew his arms forwards, and the...

A mom texts , "Hi Son, so what does IDK,LY, & TTYL mean?"

He texts back ," I don't know, Love you ,Talk to you later".

The mom texts ,"it's ok, Don't worry about it, I will ask your sister , love you too"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

IDK why some people find dung beetles repulsive. They build their own houses, they work for their food, they don't bother anybody

Seems to me like they really have their shit together

Idk if this one’s been said but here you go. A man goes to the library and askes for a book about the best way to commit suicide

The librarian says “frick off I know your not gonna return it.”

I heard this joke today for the first time, it might be repost/an old one (idk), but here it is

Teacher: Why are you late?


Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.


Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?


Student: No. I was standing on it.

When I was 16 my bestfriend got super mad at me once and wouldnt talk to me for nearly 4 months for smelling his sisters underwear.

Idk if it was because she was still wearing them or that there was a lot of people around us, but either way, it made the rest of the funeral super awkward

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have a question. Is it for fuck's sake, or for fuck sake?

Like, should I put an apostrophe to show possessive? I guess the question would be, is it for the sake of all fucks, or just this fuck in particular?

Idk, so let me know because I'm at work trying to send an email, and I wanted to sound professional.

Why did the plant-based chicken cross the road?

Idk, it’s beyond meat.

If a vegetable wrote an erotic asphyxiation help guide, what would it be titled?

Idk if this joke works. I’m workshopping it

If a vegetable wrote an erotic asphyxiation help guide, what would it be titled?

“Art of choke me”

Teacher asked the class,

"there are five crows sitting on a fence and a farmer shoots two,how many are left"

Little billy pipes up, "ain't none, the rest took off."

Teacher says" well, there are still three crows, but i like the way you're thinking."

Little billy says: let me ask you a question, three w...

Customer: What’s the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue Me: Idk lol? Customer: You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna. Me: What about the glue?

Customer: I knew you’d get stuck on that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was on the phone with his buddy (NSFW)

Guy- Hey, you know what has a tiny penis and hangs down?

Buddy- Idk, what?

Guy- A bat. You know what has a giant penis and hangs up?

Buddy- Idk, what?

::click::

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.