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Guinness Book Of Records Jokes

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I took my girlfriend to the library to show her that my penis was in the Guinness Book of Records.

But the librarian told me to take it out!

My neighbor's in the guinness book of records.

He's had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me, in fact it's just a stone's throw away.

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The Smallest Dick In The World

3 guys are meeting at the pub. The first one said "I have the smallest arms in the world", the second "I have the smallest head in the world" and the third "I have the smallest dick in the world". Since they want all of that approved, they thought to go to the Guinness book of records. The first one...

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My penis is in the Guinness book of records.

At least it was till that book store lady kicked me out.

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My penis was in the Guinness book of records...

... then I got caught and was asked to leave the library quite rudely.

I wrote to the Guinness Book of Records . . .

I wrote to the *Guinness Book of Records* and told them that I had a flat piece of plastic with a hole in the middle and multiple grooves. My question for them was, "Is this a record?"

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For some reason, I'm not in The Guinness Book of Records.

Even though I was *definitely* the first person ever to touch my penis.

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3 men walk into a The Guinness Book of world records HQ.

the first man claims he has the worlds smallest arm.

the second man claims he has the worlds smallest foot.

the third man claims he has the worlds smallest penis.

after being tested? by the Guinness Book of Records, the first man said "wow, i really have the worlds smallest arm!...

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American Records

3 Americans sit in the Office of Guinness Book of Records, talking why they there.
The first flash his dick with 0.8 inches and said:"I have the shortest fick in the States".
The second shows his birth certificate, is 107 years old and said:"I am the oldest American"
The third flashes his ...

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The old lady visits the doc with stomach problems...

An old lady in her 70s experiences some difficulty with her stomach and decides to visit the doctor. She tells the doctor that she thinks that she has the farts. The doctor frowns and subjects her to a full examination. After doing many tests, the doctor says, “Mam, congratulations, you are indeed p...

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