How much wood, could a wood slug glug, if a wood slug could glug wood?

Just ask your mother

A grumpy, drunken, old cowboy was riding his horse near the Mexican border when he noticed it chewing on a strange, stout cactus.

Before long, the pony started behaving strangely, walking slowly and irregularly and not responding to the cowboys commands.
The cowboy became progressively more frustrated, as well as more drunk and more mean as he continued to glug himself into the depths of his whiskey bottle.
The horse ev...

Jesus and Moses compete who can cross a river faster:

Jesus and Moses compete who can cross a river faster. Moses makes the water split and walks on dry land to the other side. Jesus tries to walk on water, but glug... glug... glug... he starts sinking. "What's the matter?" asks Jesus, "I walked on the water quite well 2000 years ago..." "Well," replie...

What do you call an underwater labor camp?

Glug Glug Gulag

Drunk cowboy

A cowboy gets captured by a group of Indians. They take him back to their camp where the chief shows mercy on the cowboy and says he can live amongst the tribe if he's able to complete three tasks.
Ahead were three tepees. The chief says to the cowboy, "in the first tepee is a beer keg. You have...

Two bad drivers, a man and woman, crashed into each other on a countryside road.

The woman luckily suffered no major injuries and so rushed to the man's vehicle before opening his car door and sitting in the passenger seat.

'Are you alright sir?' the woman asked. 'I'm incredibly sorry.'

'I'm fine, honey, thanks,' he replied. The woman was relieved, but the man stil...

Joe and Tom had been at the bar for a while...

…when Joe said he'd give Tom $20 if he'd take one sip out of a large spittoon at the end of the bar.

Tom: "No way, man. That's disgusting!"
Joe: "What if I offered you $50, then would you do it? Just one sip??"
Tom: "Uh. No. Even for $50, that's just too gross!"
Joe: "Well…what if I...

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