A British trawler is sailing off the coast of Germany when suddenly the ship starts taking in water.
The ship is sinking fast and the captain immediately gets on the radio to contact the German coast guard.
"Help!" he exclaims, "We're sinking! We're sinking!"
A hesistant voice comes from the radio. "Um...v-vot are you sinking about?"
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them "It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro."
"Vot do you mean it's illegal?" asks the German driver.
"Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian official.
"Quattro is just ze name of zefokken automobile" the German says unb...
A German finally got a job as a lifeguard.
One day, a distress signal came from out in the sea.
"We're sinking, we're sinking!"
The german, thinking carefully, answered:
"Vot are you sinking about?"
A German Coast Guard was working his first shift as a radio dispatcher when a boat got into trouble.
Sailor: Mayday, Mayday! Can anybody hear me?
Operator: Ah hallo. Zis is ze German Coast Guard. I can hear you.
Sailor: This is Mayday! We are sinking! I repeat. We are sinking!!
Operator: Ah, Okay. So... vot are you sinking about?
Hans turns up for his first day with the German Coast Guard. He's shown round the building, then taken to his new position as radio operator.
"Gut Mornink, Hans," says the old hand. "As you are ze new guy, I am off to ze bier keller. Just remember, all international radio traffic must be in ze English", and leaves.
Hans sits listening to the radio for a while, when he hears a call. "Mayday, Mayday - help us, can anyone hear us?"...
David Beckham is out shopping one day.. (Old)
He spots a tall, cylindrical silver thing. He asks a shop assistant what it is; "It's a Thermos flask, it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold" replies the assistant.
So David buys it. On arriving home, Victoria asks what he's got there. "It's a Thermos flask, keeps 'ot fings 'ot an...
Arnold Schwarzenegger woke up this morning with a sore head and a bad back...
... he put on his dressing gown and slippers, opened the door to his en suite shower and let out a sigh.
“Why is my shoauwer still broken?” He exclaimed. “The plumber was supposed to hef come last week.”
He made his way to the kitchen to fix himself some food. Opening the fridge, a put...
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