I tried to re-marry my ex wife

But she figured out I was only after my money.

My ex wife is a pirates worst nightmare !

A sunken chest with no booty .........

My ex wife still misses me...

BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN’ BETTER!!

...

HER AIM IS GETTIN’ BETTER!!

I took my ex wife out yesterday.

Man, it's fun being a sniper.

My ex wife died so I went to the cemetery to honor her, I poured a fine 12 year old bottle of scotch on her grave.

But first I filtered it through my kidneys

A man was granted one wish, however his ex wife would get twice of whatever he wished.

He wished to be half dead.

How is Hurricane Florence like my ex wife?

They start off wet and wild but in the end, they take your house.

I didn't say my ex-wife died,

I said I have a latex wife.

My ex wife kept the only copy of our wedding video.

I can’t see myself getting married again.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bought the ex wife some crotchless panties for Halloween...

Nothing sexual, just to give her a better grip on the broomstick.

How long does it take my ex wife to screw in a light bulb?

Ha! My ex screwing, that’s a good one.

I’ve been searching for my ex wife’s killer for the past two years.

No one is willing to do it.

Why did the pirate have a map to his ex wife's house

For booty calls

My ex wife just texted me, "Wish you were here"

She does this everytime she passes by a cemetery

My ex wife was a Seismologist.

She was was great at finding faults.

How does a pirate greet his ex wife?

Ahore

Ex-Wife

An Avid Sportman and hunter, Tim decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend.

One evening, not long after the honeymoon, he was getting his equipment ready for an upcoming hunt.

His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally s...

Was in court with the ex wife over who'd get the kids in the divorce, she told the judge about the time I flew into a rage a threw an enitre trifle at her

So of course she got custardy.

My ex wife's favorite joke.

Guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but a sheet of saran-wrap.

Doc says to him, "I can clearly see your nuts."

What did the jedi tell his ex wife?

May divorce be with you.

Something I said on the spur of a moment to my ex wife.

Ex: I don’t know why you are complaining I’m an angel.

Me: So was satan

I asked my ex wife if she would like to make love just like old times.

She replied,"Over my dead body."
I said, "Yeah, just like old times."

What did the janitor's ex wife accuse him of?

Sweeping around.

So my ex wife was sick in the hospital and I decide to visit her.

She was complaining that her body temperature has dropped below 30. So I told her not to worry since it's a standard body temperature for snakes.

Ten years after my divorce, I can finally say I don't want my ex wife to die anymore.

I don't want her to die any less either.

My ex wife used to hit me with stringed instraments

If only I had known she had a history of violins

My ex wife didn't show up to the custody trial, so now I get full custody of my kids!

Now I just need to swing by her house and untie her.

I missed my Ex wife twice this morning.

I must get the sights on my rifle fixed.

I dumped a bowl of trifle over my ex wife after we had an argument.

She took me to court over who should look after the kids after we divorced.

She got custard-y

My ex wife and I have decided to quit arguing and bury the hatchet.

Now we just have to decide whether it should be in her chest or mine!

Joke about a man's ex wife...

A man was browsing Facebook when he saw a post saying that his ex-wife had passed due to an illness.

Immediately, he called her phone number. An unrecognizable male voice answered, "Hello?", and the man said, "Can I speak with Alice?".

The voice, sounded sad, and said, "I'm sorry but s...

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