I tried to re-marry my ex wife

But she figured out I was only after my money.

My ex wife is a pirates worst nightmare !

A sunken chest with no booty .........

A man was granted one wish, however his ex wife would get twice of whatever he wished.

He wished to be half dead.

I’ve been searching for my ex wife’s killer for the past two years.

No one is willing to do it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My ex wife was an acupuncturist…

Divorced her because she was a backstabbing bitch.

My Ex wife still misses me

but her aim is getting better

How is Hurricane Florence like my ex wife?

They start off wet and wild but in the end, they take your house.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bought the ex wife some crotchless panties for Halloween...

Nothing sexual, just to give her a better grip on the broomstick.

How long does it take my ex wife to screw in a light bulb?

Ha! My ex screwing, that’s a good one.

Ex-Wife

An Avid Sportman and hunter, Tim decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend.

One evening, not long after the honeymoon, he was getting his equipment ready for an upcoming hunt.

His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally s...

I ordered my ex wife food she hates and had Uber Eats deliver it...

Because revenge is a dish best served cold

I didn't say my ex-wife died,

I said I have a latex wife.

My ex wife kept the only copy of our wedding video.

I can’t see myself getting married again.

Why did the pirate have a map to his ex wife's house

For booty calls

My ex wife hated that I cross dressed.

So i packed her stuff and left

My ex wife just texted me, "Wish you were here"

She does this everytime she passes by a cemetery

Something I said on the spur of a moment to my ex wife.

Ex: I don’t know why you are complaining I’m an angel.

Me: So was satan

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My ex wife died so I went to the cemetery and to honor her, I poured a fine, 12 year old bottle of scotch on her grave.

But first I filtered it through my kidneys.

My ex wife was a Seismologist.

She was was great at finding faults.

What did the jedi tell his ex wife?

May divorce be with you.

My ex wife's favorite joke.

Guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but a sheet of saran-wrap.

Doc says to him, "I can clearly see your nuts."

I asked my ex wife if she would like to make love just like old times.

She replied,"Over my dead body."
I said, "Yeah, just like old times."

How does a pirate greet his ex wife?

Ahore

What did the janitor's ex wife accuse him of?

Sweeping around.

My ex wife used to hit me with stringed instraments

If only I had known she had a history of violins

Ten years after my divorce, I can finally say I don't want my ex wife to die anymore.

I don't want her to die any less either.

I missed my Ex wife twice this morning.

I must get the sights on my rifle fixed.

So my ex wife was sick in the hospital and I decide to visit her.

She was complaining that her body temperature has dropped below 30. So I told her not to worry since it's a standard body temperature for snakes.

My ex wife and I have decided to quit arguing and bury the hatchet.

Now we just have to decide whether it should be in her chest or mine!

I dumped a bowl of trifle over my ex wife after we had an argument.

She took me to court over who should look after the kids after we divorced.

She got custard-y

Joke about a man's ex wife...

A man was browsing Facebook when he saw a post saying that his ex-wife had passed due to an illness.

Immediately, he called her phone number. An unrecognizable male voice answered, "Hello?", and the man said, "Can I speak with Alice?".

The voice, sounded sad, and said, "I'm sorry but s...

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