UPJOKE
deepwateroceanseaunderwaterwatertroubleoceanwaterbrackishwaterlakewaterhighwaterwaterloggedheavy waterwaterlesspondwaterwaterish

Deep Water Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a man decides to join the US Marine corps.

During training, he just can't keep up, so the sergeant tells him to go home and wait until he's called upon as a reserve.

35 years go by and the man is still not called into action, so he decides to retire.

Out fishing one day, enjoying his retirement, a car flys past him out of contr...

A man goes into a shop in Chinatown and sees a gold sculpture of a rat.

He can't stop staring at it. It's like something is calling out to him. He asks the old man behind the counter "How much for the statue?"

The old man strokes his beard and replies "$10 for the statue, $100 for the story."

"Story? Forget that I'll just take the statue," the man says. He...

Jesus, Moses, and a bearded guy are all playing golf together

They get to the first hole and it's a long one with a big deep water hazard in the middle. Par 4

Jesus takes a shot. It lands on this tiny patch of dirt on the right edge of the hazard. Jesus doesn't want to take a penalty for a drop and he stinks at shooting left handed so he decides to just...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pissed off God by not seeing everyday miracles.

There's an old joke...

There's a flood. A man is standing in knee deep water in his house. Another man in a canoe paddles by and says "Get in I'll row you to safety!"

The man says,"No thanks. I've prayed and God will save me".

The water gets to his chest. Another man in a bass b...

I signed up for some Meteorology courses.

MET 104 Standing in Deep Water

MET 105 Standing in Heavy Rain

MET 106 Acting Amazed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

God gave Adam and Eve 2 rules...

First was to never eat the forbidden fruit. Second, Eve can never, under any circumstances, learn how to swim.

After a few weeks in paradise, watching Adam swim in the pristine ocean, Eve decides she'd had enough. She follows Adam into the surf, and as she reaches waste-deep water the sky da...

Two newlyweds are on their honeymoon in the Grand Canyon...

They decide to ride the donkeys down to the bottom. They're both riding along with their tour group, enjoying the view when the wife's donkey trips and falls. The husband sees this and hears her say "That's one."

The donkey gets back up and starts trotting along back down the path. A few min...

Quick thinking

Stan was a farmer in Florida. When he retired, he spent some time cleaning up one of the ponds on his farm. He brought in some picnic tables, put in a horseshoes court, and planted some fruit trees. It was a lovely spot for family gatherings and what have you and Stan took great care of it. One...

A man and a well

A man is walking through the woods when he finds an old well. He’s tired, so decides to sit down, but as he does the side gives way and he falls in. About 10 feet down he manages to catch a tree root, but another 15 feet below him is the deep water, and the walls are too slick for him to climb up. D...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.