Cup Holder Jokes - 6 Hilarious Cup Holder Jokes

I got pulled over and my vape was in my cup holder.

The cop said “you know, the news says those things are killing people.”

I chuckled and said “they’re saying the same thing about you guys.”

He didn’t laugh.

A husband calls the Sheriff's office to report his wife missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!

Sheriff: Height?

Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sheriff: Weight?

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sheriff: Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man gets pulled over for swerving

Officer says, "sir do you know why I pulled you over?"

*"I have no clue". The man replied.*

"Have you been drinking, sir?"

*"Not any alcoholic drinks, officer".*

"Then what is that in your cup holder?"

"*that's a half-drank Smirnoff Ice.*"

"I thought you sai...

An accordion player is getting sleepy at the wheel of his '93 Geo Metro hatchback, on his way home from playing at a bar mitzvah. His accordion lays on the passenger seat next to him...

... The accordion player decides to pull over at a small pub with a sign reading "$1 Beer Night." He takes some change out of his car's cup holder -- enough for a couple $1 beers.

Inside, he stacks his change on the bar (mostly nickels and pennies) and pretends not to notice the bartender's e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Computer idiots (Warning: Old)

Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" k...

A pastor gets pulled over by a police officer

The officer approaches the vehicle and smells alcohol. And sees a thermos in the cup holder.

The officer asks "Pastor, have you been drinking?"

The pastor replies "no, my thermos is filled with water"

The officer asked to see the thermos, opens it up and says "Pastor, this look...

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