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Conjunct Jokes

Check out "conjunctivitis.com".

Its a site for sore eyes.

My sniper rifle has conjunctivitis cream smeared all round the eyepiece

It’s a sight for sore eyes

I gave an emotional speech at my conjunctivitis support group the other day.

There wasn't a dry eye in the room.

Might start using conjunctions more confusingly...

Maybe I won’t, maybe I’ll.

I’m impressed by my favorite writer’s use of conjunctions.

She has a very nice but.

TIL chimneys can be used as conjunctions

They may introduce a clause

I've got conjunctivitis!

I know because I researched it on the internet, it was a site for sore eyes.

I like to use irregular conjunctions

But that's just the kind of guy I'm.

Two conjunctions are struggling in the kitchen, when two more conjunctions come along to make everything easier.

It's good to have an extra pair of ands.

My friends call me "Mr. Conjunction"

Because I'm all about those buts.

I was suffering from pinkeye for a long time until I found www.curing-conjunctivitis.com

It was a site for sore eyes

I dont enjoy Andor, but it has nothing to do with Star Wars...

...I'm just not a fan of conjunctions

I recently started working for a charity that convinces local supermarkets to give us their expiring baked goods to donate to refugees and the local homeless. We're working in conjunction with local churches to help distribute donations. All of us are there voluntarily, after all..

It's a naan-prophet organization.

You Might be a Redneck Jedi If…

* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with ya’ll."
* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* You have ever had a...

Her: Why do you use because all the time?

Me: I am a simple man. I use because because because is a conjunction.

A woman ran up to me in the park.

"My dog has gone missing!" she said, on the verge of tears. "Poor boy..."

"Oh...Light brown fur, long tail, grey eyes, and a minor case of conjunctivitis?" I asked.

"Yes!" she beamed.

I said, "No, haven't seen him."

The Rules of Writing

1: Always avoid alliterations

2: A preposition is not something to end a sentence with

3) Be consistent

4: Don’t restate ideas

5: Don’t be redundant

6: And never start a sentence with a conjunction

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The history of the middle finger

I never knew this before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory ov...

Where did Santa meet his wife?

Conjunction Junction. They specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses

Rang in sick at work today.

Whats wrong my boss asked?
"I have a problem with my eyes" i said
"conjunctivitis?" asked my boss.
"No i just can't see my self working" i replied.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Highschool in a nutshell

Art: *draws dicks everywhere*

Biology: "mighty mitochondria... The powerhouse of the cell"

Chemistry: feelslikeamethlabman.jpg

English: "conjunction junction what's your function?"

Health: "here's STD-infected genitalia, now everybody take condoms"

History: *insert...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guide to pooping at work

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the 2013 Survival Guide for taking a du...

Philosophical Q&A

An angel came down for a meeting of the Philosophical Association. Greeting the assembled philosophers, the angel offered to answer a single question for them. Immediately the philosophers set to arguing about what they should ask. So the angel said, “Alright, you figure out what you want to ask. I’...

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