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Cardboard Box Jokes

What do you call a Transformer in a cardboard box?

Amazon Prime.

What's the difference between me and a cardboard box?

A cardboard box isn't always empty on the inside.

:(

If two Homeless people are hitting each other with a cardboard boxes...

Is it a pillow fight?

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

What happens when you put a bunch of cardboard boxes in your house during a full moon?

You make it a warehouse

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What's worse than a cardboard box?

Paper titties

I shoved my daughter into a cardboard box.

I’m just being supportive, she told me she identified as mail.

I saw a homeless man sleeping inside a big cardboard box outside the train station this morning...

Not wanting to disturb him, I crept over and put a Starbucks coffee cup on top of his box.

He immediately woke up and said, "Thank you."

"No problem." I smiled.

He looked at me again and said, "It's empty."

I said, "I know, it's a chimney."

I love buying cardboard boxes online.

You always get one more than you pay for.

A couple had been married for 50 years. The man had a large cardboard box under the bed.

His wife had noticed this box but never thought much of it. One day, however, curiosity got the better of her, and she opened it. She found 2 empty beer cans and a bag with some dollar bills and coins.

That night, she asked her husband what this was about.

"Well," he replied. "If y...

Today's litigious culture is ridiculous. I was injured in a slip/trip/fall from a cardboard box.

I sued the box and won £5000 in corrugations.

I saw a group of 10 ants running frantically. I felt bad, so I made a small house for them out of a cardboard box.

This technically made me their landlord, and they are my tenants.

A blonde and a brunette are talking about what to do when their children misbehave during Christmas The brunette says : "I wrap empty cardboard boxes and when a child acts up I toss one into the fireplace."

And then the blonde says : "What do you do when you run out of children?"

I'm currently moving house. Has anyone got some spare cardboard boxes?

My ex won't let me live with her.

Homeless man

I saw a homeless man pushing a grocery trolley filled with cardboard boxes down the street. Walking up to him, I asked "Are you homeless?"

The man looked at me and with a wave of his hand over the boxes said "Can't you see? I'm a real estate agent!"

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A callow youth walks into a talent scout’s office…

…gingerly cradling a cardboard box with some small holes poked in two sides.

After sitting nervously among a four-foot-tall sword swallower, a violinist with six-fingers on each hand, and a sexy contortionist named LuLu LaFrance who whispered something in his ear that turned him beet red, the...

This chap lives alone and he was feeling a bit lonely, so he goes to the pet shop to get something to keep him company...

The pet shop owner suggested an unusual pet, a talking millipede.

"OK," thought the man, "I'll give it a go..."

So he bought a millipede, took it home, and for lack of advance preparations, made it a temporary home in a cardboard box.

That evening testing his new pet, he lea...

What do you call a two-week celebration of tree houses, couch cushion lean-tos, and cardboard box buildings?

A fortnight.

What’s the number one item shipped by amazon?

Cardboard boxes

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A guy walks into a pharmacy

and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once. I need something to keep me ready and keep me potent."
The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label \*...

A group of youths are smoking outside my house. It's a bit intimidating. Perhaps I'll call the police.

Or just move my cardboard box to somewhere else.

Christian Kittens

A preacher was taking a walk one day and happened upon a young girl who was playing with something in a cardboard box.

When he got closer he could see that the box held a litter of new-born kittens. "What kind of kittens are those?" asked the preacher.

"They're Christian kittens," rep...

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Bob forgot his wife's anniversary

His wife is pissed as hell. She is so pissed, in fact, that she says, "I want to see something that goes from 0 to 200 in 60 seconds or I'M LEAVING YOU!!!" She runs off to go to work.


Bob is extremely worried. His family didn't have that much money in it anyway because they were in great ...

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A homeless lady agreed to let me take her home

I don't understand why she got pissed when I loaded the cardboard box in my pickup truck.

An optimist tries to cheer up his friend (long)

OK, this was way better in the original Russian, but I'm gonna give it my best shot in translation:

So these two guys have been best friends their whole lives, and did everything together--grew up in neighboring apartments, went to the same schools, went to the same university, even got marri...

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Tiger Wood's wedding day.

On Tiger's wedding day he approaches his wife and asks a favour of her. He says to her 'as long as we are married you cannot look in this cardboard box'. Being her wedding day she agrees to the strange request without hesitation.

5 years later his wife is cleaning the house when she stumbles...

Guy walks into a taxidermists...

Guy walks into a taxidermists with two cardboard boxes, one under each arm.

"Yes sir, can I help you?" Asks the taxidermist.

"I hope so" replies the guy "It's my two pet monkeys you see... they were out playing in the road yesterday and a car came swerving round the corner, and they w...

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The Lie-Bot

A father comes home one day with a large cardboard box. When he unpacks it, the family's startled to see it contains a humanoid robot.

"This is a lie detector 'bot," the dad says. "It's programmed to slap anyone who tells a lie." He looks at his son and says, "Timmy, what were you watching o...

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Two Irishmen on Connor's Pass...

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'


The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.


'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.


The owne...

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How to sell toothbrushes

Monday at school, the teacher lined up all the students and had them present their weekend homework: their assignment was to sell something and give a presentation on effective salesmanship.

Sally was up first. "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30. My sales approach was to appeal to peop...

It's my wife's birthday

And all she ever want was a fast car. Something to get her old heart pumping. She always hated me because i couldnt afford her nice things. She demanded that I get her something that can go from 0 to 200 faster than anything she's ever seen. Otherwise she would leave me. On the morning of her birthd...

Oooo, that smell (LONG)

A load of chickens in their pickup bed, Sven and Tina are enjoying a quiet ride to the market when Sven accidentally runs over a skunk.

"Oh Sven, you've gotta stop," Tina says. "That was a momma skunk, and her babies are crying by the roadside."

Sven mumbles under his breath, but smile...

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A guy walks into a bar...

A guy walks into a bar with a small cardboard box, he asks the bartender: "Do you have a piano in here?"
The bartender points him to an old piano by the wall.
The guy sets the box down, and a little man gets out and starts playing the most beautiful music the bartender had ever listened to. <...

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So, a fellow Redditor asked to see my board game collection...

So I showed him the room where I kept my games.

I excused myself to use the restroom and as I was walking back I heard some loud grunting. Concerned about my guest, I hurried back to my game room as the grunting became louder and louder.

When I finally made it to the room, my jaw dro...

Another parrot joke.

A boy decides he'd like to have a parrot. But searching around he finds that they are all very expensive. He finally finds one at a discount a a local pet shop but it has a crooked beak.

He decides to buy it anyway because he's read on the internet that it can be carefully filed straight. ...

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One spooky night on Halloween...

Chris, an urban adventurer. was looking to have some fun.

He decided that since it was Halloween, it would be the perfect time to explore a spooky house. He asked the locals if they knew of any, and they informed him of this abandoned mansion not to far from where he lived. He was warned cou...

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