Why as it important for Ted Cruz to be in Cancun while Texas is freezing?

Reptiles require sunlight.

Why are people upset Ted went to Cancun?

I’m just mad they let him come back

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man on a business trip to Cancun ...

...was swimming before his afternoon meeting. He came up from the water to his towel and realized he didn't have a watch. He started back to the hotel in a rush and tripped over a local man taking a siesta next to a donkey. The man sleepily rose and asked what was wrong.

"I have a meeting and...

In a bid to appeal to more Texans, Tesla has introduced a Republican setting to its autopilot software. When given the choice to either run over a person or save the driver, the car will not even hesitate and..

Will fly you directly to Cancun.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Limerick about Teddy

Lame is a senator who jets off
While constituents are freezing their butts off
Cancun might be warm
But the political storm
Will deservedly rattle his nuts off

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Pizza. "Pizza who?"

Pete's a fucking asshole. He promised me that he would cover my shifts during this outbreak, but apparently we weren't eligible for government benefits due to some shady shit in his past. So instead of handling it like a GOOD ~~manager~~ HUMAN BEING, he decides to double up my shifts. Which, of cour...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A poem (Nsfw)

There once was a gal from Cancun,

Who had a most curious poon.

T'was coarse like a thistle,

But tight as a whistle,

And whilst cumming, could play you a tune.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Robin Hucking

I once knew a guy named Robin. Robin Hucking. Yes, Robin. He hated his name. Everyone called him Hucking, or Huck.



Great guy. Best friend I ever had. Right up to the day he died.



Hucking did have one problem. He was a high rise construction worker with a bad case of acr...

Lazy vultures

Two lazy vultures had procrastinated on flying south for the winter until the first frost hit, then they got worried. "We better catch an airplane to Mexico, lets go to the airport!" So they take off down the road, and as luck would have it, they come across two dead road-killed opossums, that had...

You have to spell a word to get into heaven.

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.

She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling g...

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