Babi Jokes

Delivered by crane.

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies

A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You're the father of twins.”

“That's odd,” answers the man

“I work for the Minnesota Twins!”

A nurse says to the second guy, “Congr... read more

I'm also 100% in prison.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,
'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-t... read more

A swallow

An infantry

A Swallow.

When they grow up, 2 of them turn into adult knees.

Swallows.

but I hate punctuation

Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.

Because two Wongs don't make a white

After coming home from school and sitting down on the couch, young Jenny proudly proclaimed "Mommy, I know where babies come from!"

Imagining storks and unicorns, her Mom said "OK, then why don't you tell me Honey."

Jenny says "The Mommy and Daddy take off their clothes and start huggi... read more

The woman, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, was so shocked she could barely retort "Well I ... I never!"

The man continued: "I'm just being honest with you ma'am, I mean, I've seen some ugly babies in my time, but yours is a real showstopper".

Quite overwhelmed, the woman called a fligh... read more

An English, a Pakistani, and an Irish couple all simultaneously arrive at a hospital, all of the wives in the couple going into labour at approximately the same time. All of the babies were delivered healthily after fairly routine births but unfortunately, after placing the babies in their cradles, ... read more

The smiling husband said, "I bet you say that to all new parents."

"No," she replied, "just to those whose babies really are good-looking."

The husband again asked "So what do you say to the others?"

The nurse replied, "The baby looks just like you."

One of the babies turns to the other and asks, "Are you a boy baby, or a girl baby?" The other baby just giggles and says. "I don't know!"

The other newborn is surprised, but admits, "Actually, I don't know if I'm a boy or a girl, either."

"I wonder how we can find out?" says the secon... read more

They’re strong against bugs, but weak against rocks and electricity.

Now, parents are trying to figure out which baby belongs to which parent.

Ukrainian decides to go first and yells "Slava Ukraini!"

One baby immediately jumps up and pulls into the attention position.

Ukrainian knows that's their baby and picks it up.

Polish takes the sec... read more

"Are you a little girl or a little boy?"

"I don't know," replied the other baby giggling.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby. "I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply.

"Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling, "I'll climb into your... read more

An Englishman, Welshman and a Jamaican are in hospital waiting for their wives to give birth.
After much pacing up and down, the nurse emerges from the maternity ward and announces that each are the father to a bouncing baby boy.
“Unfortunately there’s just one small problem” she adds.
“Be... read more

Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

When you are done holding a cat you can just drop them.

All three babies are side by side and the fathers are congratulating each other on their new arrivals.

Just then, a nurse enters the room, looking quite flustered.
"I'm sorry" says the nurse " but we've lost the paperwork, and can't tell you whose baby is whose!"

The three fathers l... read more

Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, “I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here.” The second one says, “I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here.” The third one says, “I wanna be a boxer.” The others look con... read more