2022 Jokes

He said "Today is the 2nd of the 2nd 2022 and I just turned 22 so I went to the bookies and put €222 on the second horse in the second race of the day.. It was at 2.22!"

"That all sounds great" I said, "What went wrong"?

"He came second".

A: Knocking on the lid of his coffin.

Hee hee!

After all, 2022 is 2020, too!

It's a solid plan.

It'll be unfitness and apathy, same as usual.

Roses are red, nuts are brown, skirts go up, pants go down.

Body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in.

The longer it's in, the stronger it gets, it goes in dry and comes out wet.

It comes out dripping, and starts to sag, it's not what you think......

Its a t... read more

A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leath... read more

Half naked Argentinian Men Hugging and kissing each other in the end.

Six.

He will be mist.

I’ve experienced the 7 day trial and am not interested

Betty White didn't even want to try it.

Cause 2022 is 2020 too.

As they pass the border, they hear a Finnish voice over the hill;

"One Finnish tank is better than 10 Russian tanks!"

The Russian general laughs, as he sends 10 T-14 Armata, the most powerful tanks of the Russian military on the hill to capture it. There is the sound of battle for a mi... read more

COVID tests

Luckily I just got covid, so I won’t notice any difference!

I said, "Dude, it's 2022, you can use any printer you want."

along with the crayons that go with them.

Happy twosday

Because 2022 is 2020 too

2022 - Russian Military is the 2nd strongest in Ukraine
2023 - Russian Military is the 2nd strongest in Russia

It looks like the Russian Military is aiming for a record-breaking streak as the world's best 'second place'!

We can call it... 2's day

It already started with a Golden Girls reunion.

The war has ended as Putin saw all celebrities singing "Imagine" and he promptly got his troops back to Russia. The first tourist arriving at Kyiv Airport and visiting the capital city under reconstruction. When they exit the airport, the first thing they see is a statue of the fallen soldiers, the ... read more

That way I can just quarantine at home instead of going to work.

2011: Didn't jog.

2012: Didn't jog.

2013: Didn't jog.

2014: Didn't jog.

2015: Didn't jog.

2016: Didn't jog.

2017: Didn't jog.

2018: Didn't jog.

2019: Didn't jog.

2020: Didn't jog.

2021: Didn't jog.

2022: Still haven't jogge... read more

When Putin began his first term in office in 1999, he asked the then outgoing president Boris Yeltsin if he had any advice for him since he, Putin had no prior experience in politics.


Yeltsin reportedly handed him two envelopes and said, if things go bad, open the first envelope. If thing... read more

Pastor Jackson and his secretary were sitting in a coffeehouse in Washington DC in 2022. "Pastor Jackson," said his secretary, "I notice you're reading Fox News! I can't understand why. A Black libel website! Are you some kind of masochist, or, God forbid, a self-hating Black person?"

"On the... read more

I'M ASKING FOR A FRIEND............... A good friend of mine has two tickets for the 2022 Super Bowl, 50 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone t... read more

I was really surprised to see Canada qualify for the world cup this year, but it's trudeau...

My top goal this year. Stay negative everyday.

If I don't, 5-10 day isolation for being positive.

It's kinda harsh but it will be very contagious and catchy.

You might say, It'll go viral.

Good thing we melted all our glaciers in the preparation.

Well I am not worried about it because of the fans.

"Which ear is it?" She said

"2022" I replied

Cold War (2022) is not as good as the original.

Behind the package, on the label, it says that it expires in December 2022

I don’t know about you, but I’m on edge over it.

Guess you could say I started 2022 on a positive note.

An issue/nuisance some farmers encounter is roaming livestock. For example, a farmer could lose some money if his neighbor’s livestock graze on his land and eat or trample on his crops. In the US, many states have enacted laws to address this issue, deferring the scheme to individual counties.
... read more

Is to accomplish the goals of 2022 which I should have done in 2021 because I promised them in 2020 and planned them in 2019

Reddit Recap 2022.

"It will be worse than 2022 but better than 2024"

Dear Mrs. Samples:

Over the past six months, your husband, Royse Samples has been causing quite a commotion in our Lawton store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and, as a result, will ban your entire family from shopping in any of our stores if even one more incident occurs. We have ... read more

it's 2022....i really don't think you still have to plug them in to charge.

Here's how we did it:

August 2021: $0

August 2022: $0.0000000

A russian general goes into a coma in December 2021 ans wakes up in March 2022. His assistant is updating him on the latest development:
- General, tov. Putin ordered a special operation against Ukraine, which is actually a war against NATO to establish world dominance in the next 100 years. So f... read more

Now it's 2022 and their still blaming the doors.

Last year was 2020 and again in less than 2 months it's gonna be 2022

Just wait for the sequel, 2022.

"What do you think about 2022?"

"So far, the best of the trilogy.", he replied.

We've all been through 2020.

It has become clear to me that 2021 is pronounced "2020 won," and that 2022 is pronounced "2020 too."

So it would be 2022.

2022 is gonna be as bad as 2020 because 2022 is 2020 too

There is a young, inexperienced employee who stumbles on a piece of amber, and immediately brings it to the laboratory. The scientist is confused, as this piece doesn't look like the others, so he goes off to the lab to date it.

The employee, unknowing of what it is still, starts to put it in... read more

Because next year is 2022

The sequel is 2022: Electric Boogaloo.

February 22nd, 2022 falls on a Tuesday. 2/22/22 will be a two’s day and that’s really got me going in life, lol.