UPJOKE
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1pm Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I love timezones

In England it's 12PM, in Germany it's 1PM and in the U.S it's 1953.

Fuck you, SCOTUS.

Cable guys was just in my neighbourhood, asked me what time it was..

I said between 8am-1pm..

I was walking down the street when I passed a Comcast technician near his van and he asked me what time it was

I said “it’s between 8am and 1pm”

I had a delivery from Hermes today.

He asked if I could give him the time, so I said it was between 8am-1pm

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is the sickest train joke I know. Be warned.

Bruce was meant to meet his friend in a bar at midday.
12:30pm, 1pm, then 1:30pm rolls around. Just as Bruce was about to give up, his friend finally strolls in with dishevelled hair and a smug grin, "Sorry I'm late mate, you won't believe what happened to me just then..."
"What?"
"Well, I...

A man with no arms is in need of a job...

He lacks experience in the service industry but his missing arms severely limit his ability to perform manual labour. Everyday he goes out looking for work and everyday he comes back dejected.

One morning—while flipping through the classifieds with his toes—he comes across the following ad,...

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