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1974 Jokes

TIL in 1974 Russians accidentally blew up their own submarine, thinking it was an enemy

Oops, wrong sub

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My wife is like a 1974 Pinto.

She always blows up when I try to ram her in the ass.

The scene is West Germany, circa 1974

A BAOR^* captain goes into a brothel and wishes the madam a good evening, and asks "How much would you charge for the pleasure of my company?"

"One hundred and twenty-five Deutschmarks, if you please," she answers. The captain nods agreement, takes out his wallet and hands over a few notes,...

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Muhammad Ali in 1974: Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

Floyd Mayweather in 2015: Run like a chicken, hug like a bear

The first jockstrap in ice hockey was introduced in 1874. The helmet was first obligatory in 1974.

So it took precisely 100 years before men realized that the brain eventually could be useful too.

You couldn't make Blazing Saddles today

Because if you did, people would say, "Hey, Mel Brooks already made this movie in 1974."

What was the name of that white girl’s Collie who went on all those adventures in Ethiopia between 1930 and 1974?

Haley's Lassie

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January 1974, morning: Nixon looks out onto the South Lawn of the White House. In the freshly fallen snow, someone has written in piss: "Fuck Nixon".

Nixon calls in William Colby from the CIA to investigate. After a couple of days, Colby calls Nixon with the results of the CIA's investigation. "Dick, I have bad news and worse news."

"Oh, Jesus, Bill, what do you mean?"

"Well, we took urine samples of everyone who has access to the ...

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Chuck Norris doesn't hoard toilet paper.

He's used the same napkin since 1974.
He just scares the shit out of it.

Why do women wear panties?

Because it's the law. The health and safety act of 1974 clearly states:

(4)(b)1: All manholes must be covered when not in use

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Old Native American Chief

My grandfather walked onto a Native American reservation one day cause he heard that the tribe's Chief could remember anything.

He walked up to the Chief and said, "What did you have for breakfast on Saturday August 3, 1974?"

The Chief looked at him and said, "Eggs."

My grandfat...

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