UPJOKE
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Wile E. Coyote's edit to his post on reddit about his plan to catch Roadrunner

"Holy cow, I did not expect for this to blow up."

I've just been randomly flicking through the Acme Products website.

There seems to be an awful lot of negative feedback comments by user 'Wile E. Coyote'.

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Communication is important! (NSFW)

A man returned home from the night shift job and went straight up to the bedroom. He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the horny husband crawled under the sheet and made love to her. Afterward, he hurried downstairs for something to eat and was startl...

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NSFW - I dreamt they were auctioning...... [long]

Wife: I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks.
The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars.
Husband: How about the ones like mine?"
Wife: Those they gave away.
Husband: I had a dream, too.... I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts.
The pretty ones w...

A bartender was fired

A bartender was let go because he kept breaking glasses wile doing fancy tricks as he made drinks.

He was fired for his pour performance.

At this point in my life...

At this point in my life, i drink so i can smoke and I smoke after the bad decisions i made wile drinking, then I drink to forget that I am dying of lung cancer.

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Three Chinese Tortures

One day, a man was lost walking through a dense forest. When it was getting dark he came across a secluded cabin in a clearing on top of a hill. He knocked on the door, and an ancient looking Chinese man answered the door.
ā€œPlease sirā€, the man plead. ā€œIt is getting dark, and Iā€™m lost. Could you ...

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Ponderisms:

Can you cry under water?







How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?







Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra p...

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