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Water's Edge Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown.

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.

...

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...

The doctor asked the man how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, "things are great, and I've never felt better! I now have a 20-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that, doc?"

The doctor considered the question for a minute, and then began to tell a sto...

A man was having a few in the local bar

when he noticed a sailor sitting at the other end of the bar. The sailor had a completely normal physique except for one anomaly: his head was tiny, about the size of an orange.

The man stared at the sailor in puzzlement, and after a few more drinks screwed up his courage to go over and ask t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The tale of the fly and the lake

Once upon a time, at a small lake in the forest, a little fly was hovering over the calm waters, close to the water's edge.

Unbeknownst to it, a carp spotted the little insect from under the water's surface, and thought to itself:

*"If you fly just a little lower, buddy, I can just jum...

Jesus and Saint Peter are playing golf...

...and a group has been trying to play through for the last few holes.

Jesus and Saint Peter come up to a hole with a water hazard right through the middle of the fairway. Saint Peter is up first, and says, "I'm going to play this just like Arnold Palmer, and hit it right up to the water's ed...

Moses, Jesus and an old man are playing golf...

Moses tees up at a par 3 with a large lake in front of the green. He gives it a solid thwack. Plooop, a little short into the water. He walks up to the water's edge and dramatically shoves the end of the club into the water. The waters part, and he walks through the lake and chips his ball in for a ...

John and Bill decide to play some golf one morning...

...and they're not very good. So bad, that old ladies start passing them before they hit the back nine.

At the sixteenth hole, they're both playing from the rough after their first strokes.

Waiting at the tee box they see a skinny bearded man. "Mind if I play ahead?", the man asks.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a bloke walking along the beach

when , suddenly, he hears this muffled crying from behind a sand dune. He goes to investigate and, there, on the sand, is this woman with no arms and legs. He looks down at her and asks why she's crying. She tells him that because she has no arms and legs, she's never made love to a man. The bloke t...

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