A man goes to an animal shelter and sees a parrot without legs sitting on its stick.
"If you don't mind me asking," he asks the parrot, "how do you sit on that stick of yours without having feet to hold on to it?" "Well, it's a little embarrassing," the parrot replies, "but I wrap my tiny little parrot penis around it and that's how I don't fall off. Gotta make do with what you...
I went for a romantic break with the wife
She came out of the bathroom and said "take off my dress"
As I peeled off her dress, she said "take off my bra"
My hands trembled as I unclasped the strap. Then came "take off my knickers"
I slowly pulled them down, and she shouted
"and I don't ever want to catch you wear...