I usually feed Tums to ants

Because it's like antacid to them.

If you ever want to cause an ant to have a psychedelic trip, feed it Tums

Because itโ€™s antacid.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

My dear Watson, I appear to have mixed up my Tums with my Imodium.

Watson: No shit Sherlock.

If an ant ate Tums, would it die or trip balls?

Ya know, cuz Tums are antacids.

What does a ghost take when they have acid reflux?

Phan-Tums

What do you call Tums in suppository form?

Bums

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts calling numbers... like a telephone... on his hand and talking in his hand.

The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very
tough neighbourhood and he doesn't need any trouble
here.

The guy says, You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I
had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular.
The bartender says 'Prove it'. ...

Why shouldn't Nissan owners keep antacids in their car?

People usually don't respond well to Altima Tums.

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