UPJOKE
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A priest is giving a nun a ride home one day...

As they're in the car, each time the Priest goes to switch gears, he rests his hand on the nuns knee.

The nun looks up at the priest and says "Father, remember Luke 14 10."

The priest moves his hand away, embarrassed. The next time they stop at a light, he places his hand a little high...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Before the starts

A man comes into a bar and says: "quickly! two beer and two vodka before the starts!" The barman pours the drinks and the man downs them quickly one after the other.

"Quickly! two more beer and vodka before the starts!" the barman pours the drinks and the man thows them back...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is out drinking with his friends....

...and gets so drunk he thows up all over his shirt. He starts freaking out and says that his wife is going to be pissed that he got so drunk. His friend tells him to put a $10 bill in his front pocket and tell his wife that someone threw up on him and gave him the money to get it cleaned. When h...

2,003 pigs

It’s a small town and not much happens most days, so the town newspaper prints pretty much every little story. But the editor just can’t believe it one day when the new farmer down the road says that his truck ran into a ditch and killed 2,003 pigs. He sends his reporter out to the farm to check it...
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