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Sunburnt Jokes

What should you tell an English politician who's badly sunburnt?

Aloe, gov'na

What do you call a sunburnt daschund?

A hot dog!

What do you call a sunburnt vegan?

A baked bean

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a sunburnt nudist pissing in the snow?

Red Hot Chili Pecker

Why didn’t the fruit salad get sunburnt?

Because it had plenty of melon in.

What did the sunburnt manatee say?

Man a tee shirt would be nice

Why don't black guys get sunburnt?

Prisons are indoors

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got really badly sunburnt yesterday so i took some viagra...

...it didnt help the sunburn any but it kept the sheets off me.

What do you call…

a sunburnt person trying to decide which personal pronoun would be best to use?
Reddit.

What do you call a sunburnt santa?

Crisp Cringle

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach

For the sake of civility and to protect from being sunburnt, he had a hat on his private parts.

A women came by and smirked, “If you were a real gentleman you’d lift your hat for a lady.”

•


The man replied, “Ma’am, if you were more attractive it would lift itself.”

What do you call a sunburnt floridaman caught in bed with another man's wife.

Red, white, and blue

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Black man in a bar

A black man walks into a bar and a white guy stands up to leave, saying he won’t drink with coloured people.

The black man laughs and says “I’m coloured?Normally, I’m Black. When I’m sick, I’m black. When I’m sunburnt I’m black. Normally, you are white. When you’re sick, you’re green. When ...

One eyed guy goes fishing without any word or notice to his wife. Has a great trip, comes home sunburnt with a cooler full of fish fillets. Wife meets him at the door, screaming, "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF YOU DIDN'T SEE ME FOR TWO DAYS?!". Guy answers without thinking, "That'd be freakin' GREAT!".

So the rest of that night, he doesn't see her. Next day, doesn't see her. Third day? He finally sees her.

She says "So, smart ass? How was that?"

.

.

.

He says, "Punch me again, it was better when I was all swollen and couldn't see you."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 aliens patrolling the universe looking for intelligent life.

There are these 2 aliens, one new and one seasoned regarding searching the universe for intelligent life.

They come across earth and decide to land out of all places the desert. They are walking for what seems like miles in search of any intelligent life when they come across a gas station.<...

A brunette, a redhead, and a Blonde get ran off the road...

Out on the middle of nowhere. The car takes a few tumbles, but they all come away ok. They all start gathering supplies they could find from the wreck.The brunette finds some water bottles, "We won't get dehydrated!". The redhead finds sunblock, "And we won't get sunburnt!". The blonde picks up the ...

After a brief, bloodless gunfight,

Prickly Bob and his Saddlesore Gang have managed to capture Dan Hollings, Deputy of Tombstone. Prickly Bob, not wanting a murder warrant on his head, has decided to let the desert take care of his latest problem with the law.

Now, I won't lie to you. Alone and buried up to his chin in red des...

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