UPJOKE
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A Japanese, a Russian, a Filipino, and an American went to test the magic swimming pool that turns the waters into any substance of your choice if you shout it out loud enough before jumping in.

The Japanese threw his wooden sandals aside and ran towards the pool shouting "Sakeeee!!" He landed happily in 5 feet of Japanese rice wine. The Russian threw his AK-47 aside and ran to the pool screaming "Vodkaaaa!" as he lept in the air. He happily swam and drank the purest Russian Vodka after. Th...

Golf dog

A man invites a new friend to play a round of golf. When the arrive at the first tee, the friend has a small dog with him. At the first green the friend sinks a twenty foot putt, the little dog yaps and dances around. The man tells his friend how fantastic the dog is, then ask “What does he do ...

The word "nun" is just the letter "n"...

...doing a somersault.

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Why did the stripper get a large "W" tattooed on each 'cheek'?

Every time she does a somersault, it says: "WOW, MOM, WOW!"

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Three generals are arguing over who has the bravest soldiers.

The first general calls up a private from his army and tells him: "Climb that building and leap down from the roof!". With a "Yes sir!", the soldier climbed the building, leapt off and crashed violently on the concrete floor. The second general called up a private from his army and orders him: "Put ...

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How can you tell if your stick of butter is doing flips?

somersault-ed, and some are not.

A plane was traveling across the Atlantic...

...when there was an explosion from one of the engines.

Pilot: "I'm afraid we're all gonna crash and die because it's just too heavy to keep it in the air."

Despite throwing all unnecessary items from the plane, it still descended rapidly.

Suddenly, a Frenchman stood up and shou...

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A man walks into a bar...

he leans over and says to the bartender, "Hey, will you give me a free beer if I show you something so amazing that I can guarantee you've never seen it before?"

The bartender says, "Okay, but it had better be good."

The man reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He sets...

A Rabbi Wants to Spread Judaism with the World

A rabbi wants to spread Judaism with the world but isn’t sure where he would like to start. He decides he will spin a globe and randomly place his finger to stop it. He does this and lands in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The rabbi goes on a boat, and sails to the spot he chose. As it turns out, ...

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Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor.

Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He'd do pushups and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just lay around on their fat asses not doing a thing.

One day, one of them became curious enough to ask Stanley why he
exercised all day.

Stanley said,"Look, ...

Fifty years in the pen

Louis served his thirty in solitary and would have gone crazy had he not made friends with Joe the ant. They hit it off from the start, and to pass the time Louis taught Joe little tricks like rolling over and tumbling. Joe proved to be a talented acrobat and at the end of his training could do hand...

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