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Slimed Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A snail slimed into a bar...

... slimed his way across the floor, up the bar and across the counter top and said to the barman "I'll have a pint of Guinness please." The barman turns to him and says, "we don't serve snails here, fuck off!" and flicks him off the counter and out of the door. Three months later the snail returns ...

A very rich snail slimed into a Cadillac dealership...

...and said,"I want your most expensive car."
The salesman said,"Very well sir. Is that all?"
The snail said,"No. I'd like it to have a custom paint job." The salesman said,"Yes sir. What do you want the car to look like?"
The snail said,"I'd like every door painted
with a large letter ...

Why does Marshawn Lynch sit in the back at the Kid's Choice awards?

He's just there so he won't get slimed.

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