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Silver Medal Jokes

I love the feeling of getting a silver medal, especially after I've been beaten by a religious woman.

It's second to nun.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Unfortunately my girlfriend gave my sex life a silver medal...

But she didn't seem to mind me coming 2nd

My wife is like an Olympic silver medal skier.

She only goes down once every four years, and never finishes first.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My team got silver medal in the sex Olympics.

We would have got gold but I came first in the orgy.

What's better than winning a Silver Medal at the Paralympics?

Not being disabled.

Richard Nixon and Leonid Brezhnev race around the White House

1972. In the spirit of Detente, Richard Nixon and Leonid Brezhnev decide to run a friendly footrace around the White House. The event is reported by every news outlet in the world.

The younger, fitter Nixon easily beats the old, unfit Brezhnev. It's a humiliation, so the Soviet press team are...

I'd like to congratulate Donald J Trump for winning

The silver medal in the 2020 presidential election.

Olympic Results for Sailing are out:

The British have taken the Gold medal.

The French have taken the Silver medal.

The Somalians have taken the boats.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Smithers' Story

In the greatest days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.

After welcoming his replacement and showing the courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches) that protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said,

"You mu...

Latvian Jokes

Latvian Olympian win silver medal in skeleton. Wishes silver medal was potato. Still is hungry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple of centuries ago some kings held a new Olympic competition.

The new event was which king had the biggest penis. They measured all the kings, and here were the results:

The king of France got the bronze medal for 7 inches. All the Frenchmen cheered, knowing that the female tourists would want to sleep with them now. They then played the French national...

Vacancy announcements these days

Required qualifications:

- Work experience of 50 years or more;
- Incumbent must defeat a dragon;
- Willingness to work on weekends and holidays;
- Helicopter piloting licence;
- Ability to programme in any language imaginable;
- Knowledge of Swahili at least at uppеr intеrmеdi...

My girlfriend bought me Olympian brand Condoms...

Before she left, I asked if she could buy the Gold Medal variant, she came back with the Silver Medal, saying; "I don't want you coming first this time"

Oscar

• Roses are red,

Violets are glorious,

Don't try to surprise

Oscar Pistorius


• She didn't notice Oscar sneaking up behind her. It was the silence of the limbs.

• Oscar Pistorius. Not the first South African with a race problem.

• When Oscar Pistorius sai...

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