Schrodinger Jokes

Think outside the box.

She said it rang a bell but wasn't sure if it was there or not.

You know, just to be sure?

\[Credit to my brother\]

Those who know about Schrodinger, and those who don't.

Werner Heisenberg and Ernst Schrodinger are driving down the road late one night, and they are stopped by a cop.

Heisenberg rolls down the window and says, “evening officer”.

The cop asked, “Do you know how fast you were going?”

Heisenberg says, “No, but I knew exactly where I ... read more

But at the same time I don't

The vet said, “I have good news and bad news.”

Some of the replies from the scientists invited:

Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm.

Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend.

Volta was electrified and Archimedes, buoyant at the thought.

Ampere was worried he wasn't up to current re... read more

The book keeper says it rings a bell but he doesn't know if it is there or not.

Cop: Did you know you have a dead cat in your trunk?

Schrodinger: I do now.

You can have it and eat it.

As long as no one looks.

So as it turns out, curiosity did kill the cat.

a person may be simultaneously waving at you and waving at the person behind you. There is no way to know unless you turn behind.

My pronouns are is/isn't.

He's wanted dead and alive

I have no idea if he is alive or dead.

or maybe not.

We all have Schrodinger's Virus now.

Because we can't get tested, we can't know whether we have the virus or not.

We have to act as if we have the virus so that we don't spread it to others.

We have to act as if we've never had it cause if we didn't have it we are not immune.... read more

So I headed on down to the library to see if they had a copy for my 10 year old daughter.

The librarian said that my description rang a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not.

But I still find them absolutely hilarious

So he could have equal chance of being alive or dead

You don't know until you get it whether its delivery, or Digiorno's

Schrodinger‘s cat walks into a bar and also doesn’t.

A: "I donno man. Depends on the observing public."

and not

Before you ask her out, she is both single and taken

Dr Schrodinger :" there's good news and there's bad news."

"What do you mean by that?" Asks the wife.

Dr Schrodinger *takes a look inside* : " I'm afraid your husband is dead."

wife *sobbing* : "But then what's the good news?"

Dr Schrodinger: "What good news?"

His favorite song was "Wanted Dead and Alive"

The cats a maybe and the dog said it didn't ring any bells.

It left a residue at every pole.

It doesn't have any showing times. You buy a ticket but won't know if it is playing or not until you walk into the theater.

The vet comes back 10 minutes later and says,



"I have good news and bad news."

I don't know if she is dead or alive.

It was an open and shut case.

Now my lab is full of interfering kittens..

Well -- it was and it wasn't.

It's funny and not funny at the same time, until you tell it to someone.

However, it was impossible for him to tell when he had had an accident, and lived in a perpetual state of both being soiled and unsoiled simultaneously.

This became known as Schrodinger's Scat.

But since he's is in a box, we are not sure.

He was a nonlocal observer.

After they pass mile marker 16, a state trooper pulls them over for speeding. The trooper goes up to the window and sees Heisenberg behind the wheel.

Trooper: "Sir, do you have any idea how fast you were going when you passed that mile marker?"
Heisenberg: "Well I certainly don't know now ... read more

It's hit and miss.

he answered the phone groggily, so I asked if he was sleeping. He said "uhhh, yes and no". So I asked if he was taking a Schrodinger's Cat nap. *crickets*

Heisenberg and Schrodinger are speeding along in Schrodinger's car, a police man pulls them over and asks the driver, Heisenberg, if he knows how fast he was going, to this Heisenberg replies
"I do not know how fast I was going, because I know exactly where I am"
After this weird answer the p... read more

Apparently Schrodinger had a lousy sense of smell.

Only way he could tell if the fart smelled bad, was if he did it into a box with a cat.

By thinking outside the box

1 not 1

I heard that there is a new novel out about Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog going on an adventure but I couldn't remember the name. Sounded good so I decided to go down to the library to see if they've got it. Looked around and couldn't see it so I asked the librarian if they have it in, she repl... read more

about schrodinger's dead cat.

Then I thought maybe, I will tell a joke about schrodinger's alive cat.

So I decided not to go to office today.

Missing cat: Wanted dead and alive

If found return to Schrodinger

* I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

* I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

* Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.

* Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And ... read more

He was buried (|Dead> + |Alive>) / sqrt(2)

Should be called a Schrodinger’s shat

It's having a lot of fun in limbo

**One**

Engineer: My heart is filled with depression

Zen master: Young man, your depression is trivial like a single line on a paper, there are still a lot of space you can fill the paper with.

The engineer drew a Peano curve.

**Two**

Engineer: Master, they say I a... read more

... The cop gets out of his cruiser and walks up to Schrodinger's car. He says to Schrodinger, "Hey, don't you work at the university around here?" Schrodinger replies "why, yes." The cop asks Schrodinger "I know the university is pretty rowdy and likes to party. Do you mind if I look around your ca... read more