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Sadie Jokes

Stone.

Sam died and left $50,000 in his will for an elaborate funeral.

As the last attenders left, Sam’s wife Rose turned to her oldest friend Sadie and said: “Well, I’m sure Sam would be pleased.”

“I’m sure you’re right,” replied Sadie, who leaned in close and lowered her voice to a whisper....

Maurice and Sadie were woken up in the middle of the night when the phone rang

Sadie answered and said "How the hell should I know? It's 100 miles away!"

Maurice asked who it was and Sadie replied, "Some mad woman wanting to know if the coast was clear."

My Sadie

Sadie's husband Jake has been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet his faithful wife stays by his bedside day and night.
One night, Jake comes to and motions for her to come closer. He says, "My Sadie, you have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were t...

Maurice and Sadie were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary by having a meal at a restaurant with their friends.

Maurice looked unhappy, so his best friend Michael, a solicitor, asked him what was wrong.

"Do you remember on our fifth anniversary I asked you what would happen if I murdered Sadie?"

"Yes," answered Michael, "I said you would get twenty years in jail."

"Well," said Maurice, "I...

An old Jewish couple, Harry and Sadie, were married for 35 years but never got along...

...One day around this time of year, he says to her, "So? I suppose you'll be wanting a Hanukkah present?"

She says to him, "Harry, I want a divorce."

Harry says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man named Ted moved into an apartment building and was invited to have dinner by the old lady next door.

He arrives and is introduced to her beloved cat Sadie and then they sit down to eat.

A few minutes into the meal Ted starts feeling rather gassy. He holds it as long as he can but finally lets out a teeny fart.

Before he can apologize the old lady yells out "Sadie!" and tells her cat t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mourning !

Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter is constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she`d go out, but didn`t know anyone.
Her daughter immediately...

Three Jewish Mothers

Three Jewish mothers are sitting on a park bench in Miami Beach talking about (what else?) how much their sons love them.

Sadie says "You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living room? My son, Arnold, bought that for me for my 75th birthday. What a good boy he is and how much he loves h...

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Old man Finklestein is dying.

Old man Finklestein is dying. He was diagnosed with cancer a month ago, and had told no one but his dear wife, Sadie.

It is a week before the doctors told him he would kick the bucket, and he had straightened out his will and finances, so he decided to tell his best friend, Mr. Ginsberg.
<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old Jewish man goes to his rabbi.

He says "Rabbi, I need your advice. My wife Sadie and I have been very happily married for 45 years. But as you know, I'm not quite as young as I used to be and lately I just can't get her to orgasm when we make love. I feel I am failing in my duties in marriage as man."

The rabbi thinks for ...

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Sam and Bessie

Sam and Bessie were friends with benefits in their retirement community. One day, Sam and Bessie are sitting on the bench outside of the old folks' home. "Hey Bessie?" Sam asked. "Yeah, Sam?" Bessie replied. "Do you mind putting your hand on my penis?" He asked. "Sure," she said.

Two days la...

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