UPJOKE
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Headline: Quenched Dench benched for a French wench finch pinch.

Press Release \[Paris\]:
Legendary actress "Dame Judi", reportedly intoxicated, was suspended from her current production for allegedly stealing a Paris prostitute's pet bird.

Finger Accident

Judi, the blonde, runs crying into the office. "What's wrong?" gasps her best friend Carol. "It's my boyfriend. He was working on the engine under the hood of his car when the lid came down and cut off a finger!" "My god," shrieks Carol. "Did it amputate his whole finger?" "No, thank goodness," snif...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is that semen?

Three women, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come home from work at the same time and get on the elevator.




The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says “Ooooohhh that looks like semen.”




She reaches out and touches the blob with her finger...

Traffic Stop

John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer:
- "Is there a problem, Officer?"
- "No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and I'm pleased award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're to do w...

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